Sunday, December 20, 2009

It's the little things.....

We bought a real tree this year. I haven't had a real tree since I was in the 3rd grade. We can't find most of the christmas ornaments and the star for the top of it but it's beautiful just the same.

I bought 2 ornaments for the lost babies and I'm looking for a 3rd one for the most recent. We knew the first one was a girl so I bought a cross with pearls on it, the second one they couldn't tell so I bought a pickle since that is what it looked like and the latest was lost before the heartbeat so I'm not sure what to do for that one. Maybe a heart? hmmm...I'm thinking about this stuff too much. When I was buying christmas stockings yesterday I found one that reminded me of the SS late mother. I doubt it even registers with him but I told Dave what it was for and he seemed touched. It just seemed like the right thing to do. I'm also wierd enough to want all of her pictures put on a wall (not a prominent one) so that when the SS is missing her he always has her nearby.

I'm meeting my sister and a friend of hers later today to go shopping and let the kids go ice skating at the Galleria. I had asked the SS if he wanted to go earlier in the week and he said he did. We'll see if he still feels the same way when I get ready to go.

My mixers all died this year. So the other day I mentioned on Facebook that I was looking for a gently used one and my sister's friend that is coming down to shop with us is going to sell me her barely used kitchen aid stand mixer for 50 dollars! yay! EARLY BIRTHDAY PRESENT TO ME!!!!!!!!!! Now I don't have to freak out over spending hundreds of dollars to get one! Plus I'm recycling!

Tuesday, December 1, 2009

Thursday, November 26, 2009

It's a VERY Happy Thanksgiving!

I wasn't sure yesterday I just had a wave of m/s about 4 am but it was enough to get my attention and make a trip to the store. I had another touch of m/s again this morning about the same time (4 am is going to be my favorite time of day I guess) so I tested. YAY! HAPPY FREAKIN THANKSGIVING TO US!!!! WE HAVE 2 LINES! At 9 days past ovulation. HOT DAMN! It's still pretty faint but it's definately there. The m/s is a new thing for me, ESPECIALLY this early. I didn't have much with the others. Now if this one actually makes it any further than the others remains to be seen but I can't help but be a little excited! I'm not going to hold my breath for the next 8 months and I'm sure the past losses will give me minor freakouts in the coming weeks but I'm so excited. I'm going to be grateful and thankful for every minute I get to spend with this little one.

We have so much to be thankful for. The boy is doing so much better than he was 6 long months ago. He regularly gives me hugs and says "I love you". Awww... The challenges of the past year I think has made Dave and I so much stronger. Man we've been through some crap! Fortunately when stuff comes up we do a really good job of talking about it and turning towards each other for support.

Wednesday, November 25, 2009


Third time's the charm?

Wednesday, November 18, 2009

The doctor's visit...

I went for my follow up appointment yesterday and was stuck in a room full (literally full) of only VERY pregnant women. Well there was one man but he was with one of the Smug Bitches so he doesn’t count. UGH! And then NY nurse was surprised that my blood pressure was high. I wonder what could have caused that.
Test results came back fine. Damn, absolutely no useful information whatsoever. They couldn’t even tell if it was a boy or girl. All my dreams were of a baby boy, so I’m going to go with my dreams since they were on the money last time and think of it as a boy.
Dr W asked what I wanted to do now. Hell, I don’t know what tests are available so I told her to run anything she could think might be the problem. So we are going to test clotting factors and a bunch of other stuff with mile long names. We probably won’t learn anything from them either but at least I feel like I’m making an effort.
The poor lady that was doing my labs had to research what she needed so as I was waiting outside the labroom the most annoying of the Smug Bitches was brought over for her blood tests too. You know the kind that has to call everyone she knows and share all the information from her appointment immediately and LOUDLY so everyone hears. Yeah, that helped. So by the time they were ready to do my labs I was already welling up and before she even stuck me I was practically sobbing. DAMN. I thought the lab tech was going to start crying too the poor thing. She was in there alone so she couldn’t wrangle the needle the tubes and reach the tissues so I’m sitting there bawling, she’s sniffing and the smug bitch finally shut the hell up.
After I left that appointment I had to rush home and get the SS for our next appointment. The minute I got home Robby was giving me grief about the mp3 player not having his music on it. I had tried to download it the night before and while it looked like it was downloading one of the cd’s it actually downloaded all of my (country) music. Not exactly his (Five Finger Death Punch)taste. I kinda snapped at him when he got a little demanding. Not bad but it made me feel bad. As we were driving to the chiropractors I apologized and told him I wasn’t feeling well and that I shouldn’t have snapped at him. Then we argued as to whether or not I had snapped at him. He said I hadn’t, I said I had, he said I hadn’t…you get the idea. So by the time we got to that dr’s office I was in tears again which freaked those ladies out.
Jeez. It just wasn’t a good night.

Dear Dr.'s Office

I know you are moving to a new location soon and I have a very simple request.

Could you PLEASE have a waiting room for the obviously pregnant and one for those of us that can't be in the same room as them?

Yesterday I had to sit in your waiting room for almost 2 HOURS because you were running behind. I get it, things happen and that doesn't really bother me too much since you have chairs that are actually comfortable and I managed to find a few magazines that don't have babies plastered all over them.

However, sitting in THAT room for THAT long was TORTURE. I can't even believe your nurse was surprised that my blood pressure was through the roof. DUH! I don't think I'm asking for much and I know there are other women who would appreciate it as well. Hell I wouldn't even care if it was a closet that I had to sit in by the dark. As long as I didn't have to watch those smug bitches.



Tuesday, November 10, 2009


I was feeling pretty crummy last night when I got home but I thought it was because it was my first day back to work. But then last night the cramps were bad enough that I could barely sleep. This morning it's worse. Cramping with a sharp pain. The Dr's office doesn't start answering the phone until 9 so I'm trying to stay calm. I've had 2 painkillers since 5:30 and that helped some but I'm afraid I may have an infection.

Friday, November 6, 2009

The hospital visit....

Everyone that is working on your "case" has to ask you what you are there for so I had to tell literally 10 different people I was there for a d&c. Eight of these were women and I was kind of surprised that all but 1 had suffered more than 1 m/c. One turned to adoption and the rest went on to have more than 1 successful pregnancy.
My favorite Nurse, Dot, from Dr W's office came and hung out with me before surgery. I need to get her a nice card and gift for being so great. It really helped having her there. Dave would have been stressing over work since they are shorthanded and working on a big project so I told him to go to work then try to get away early to pick me up. It just seemed silly to make him sit around while I'm asleep when he really needed to be at work. I'm so used to doing things alone it wasn't a big deal to me. And just like most men he's not so comfortable dealing with "female stuff".
I had more cramping/pain on one side after the surgery so I was really grateful for those pain meds. But just like lasts time by the time I got home the bleeding was almost non existent. That really helps me mentally.
Since I had to wait a little while for Dave to get there they put me in recovery 3 which is where they put patients that are waiting on a room. I must say I recommend this if you can request it DO. The nurses were nicer than the outpaient recovery nurses I had last year. I had a comfortable bed that adjusted itself every time I moved. I had a TV which we all were glued to because of the shooting at Ft Hood and my nurse Fran made sure I had warm blankets, snacks and something to drink handy at all times.
Mentally I'm doing much better than I thought I would. I think it helped waiting a few days. It gave both of us a little time to process it. The night before surgery Dave spent a long time laying with his head on my chest and his hand on my belly saying goodbye to the little one. It was pretty heartbreaking but I think it helped me more than anything he could have said.
With our first loss it took me a really long time to get over it. Now I feel ready to move on and try again really soon. Maybe third time is the charm.

Wednesday, November 4, 2009

I had a dream last night

That I was at the Dr's office for another u/s. But this time the baby did have a heartbeat. Not only did it have a heartbeat but there was another one a couple of weeks younger (the dr said) that had a heartbeat.
I fell back against the wall and as I was sliding to the floor in a heap and said Oh my god! The doctor said, "well, what do you want to do". I looked at her and said "well, I want to keep it OF COURSE". And then I woke up. I really hate dreaming right now. It makes me second guess what I know.

One more day

After yesterday's incident I was just DONE with this waiting. I called the Dr's office and asked if they could move my appointment up to Thursday. (The NY nurse later said I could hear in your voice that we needed to get this taken care of.) So they had me come in for one more u/s just to confirm that there wasn't a heartbeat. There wasn't but it was oddly comforting in a way to see it again.
After my appointment, and more tears, and more hugs from my Dr and the nurses (they are so sweet)they sent me over to the hospital to do my preregistration. That was 2 more hours of waiting, and being proded and poked. Fun.
So I will go in tomorrow morning at 10 and have surgery at 12.
Dave can't get away from work so I'll be going alone. Not that it really matters. He would just be sitting around twiddling his thumbs. He doesn't do that waiting thing very well and it doesn't help that he's shorthanded at work. He would just sit there and worry and stress about work which would just make me stress even more than I already am. He'll get there as soon as he can which should be about the time we are wrapping things up.
Fingers crossed we'll start trying again in 2 weeks. Dr said we don't have to wait and it may actually help to start trying immediately.

Tuesday, November 3, 2009


One of the very few people that knew about the pregnancy greeted me with a "goodmorning mama" today. All I could do was shake my head and burst into tears.


And now I can't get the waterworks to stop.


And my body STILL doesn't get that it needs to miscarry.


Thursday, October 29, 2009


Well the nurse just confirmed it. My blood test came back at 38,184. It should be well over 100K by now so she is going to schedule the D&E for the 9th or 10th. I could do it next Friday but Dave has to be at his office all day and can't get out of it.
Maybe I'll m/c on my own this weekend. DAMN. I should have had her call in some pain killers just in case. DAMN. I really really am not looking forward to either option. DAMN.

Can I go home yet?

I'm totally worthless at work today. I had to let my boss know so I could request a block of time off since I don't know if I'll miscarry on my own or need medical intervention. God forbid I not have the day I need off REQUESTED off. Fucking Bitch. She proceeded to tell me maybe I should look at alternative options. Why is it that people feel the need to tell you that? I've had 3 people tell me that in the last day. Let me make myself CLEAR PEOPLE! I DO NOT WANT TO ADOPT. I spent 20 freakin years raising everyone elses children I WANT to raise MINE now.
I was doing so blog surfing of others that have been there and ran across this from Searching for Zanity

I didn't want to adopt. I'm not judging other people's choices. I've never had any doubt that I could love an adopted child. And maybe if we had made the decision to adopt earlier, we would be parents now. I just no longer have the emotional reserves to embark on adoption, a whole 'nother roller coaster.

It's just that I wanted it all. I wanted a genetic connection to my mother. I wanted to wonder if the baby would have my nose (I hope not!) or my sense of humor (now you're talking). Now I'm supposed to come to the realization that I want to be a mother, not just pregnant with my egg and my husband's sperm, more than anything. That once the baby arrives how it got here won't matter.

Intellectually getting there is a whole lot easier than getting my heart there.

Wednesday, October 28, 2009


Well, I'm sad to say we didn't find a heartbeat. It did look like it had grown since the last visit but there wasn't a heartbeat. She said we could check in a few days just to make sure and we are doing another blood test to see if the numbers are falling (as I expect they are).

Second sono today....

Keep your fingers crossed everything is going good and we see a really strong heartbeat.

Monday, October 26, 2009


I have the crud.
I really want to take a large dose of NyQuil and sleep but I can't. I think that is going to be my least favorite thing about being pregnant...not being able to take much when you are sick.
So I'm watching my temp (staying around 98 and 99), taking tylenol and Robitussin from the "approved" list every 4 or 5 hours and trying to drink lots of fluids. Poor Dave. I'm sure I kept him awake with my tossing, turning and trying to breath all night long. I was going to go to work but he convinced me to stay home and rest. I'm glad he did.

Wednesday, October 21, 2009

latest test results

I finally got the nurse to call me back...she's either getting friendlier or I'm getting used to her NY ways.
The cramping was caused by dehydration. I haven't been drinking enough plain ol' water. So after drinking 3 glasses of water in a couple of hours the cramps went away completely! yay! Who knew WATER was so important. Well I should have but I wasn't paying attention. Large 44 oz diet cokes aren't a good substitute. I'm trying to kick my Sonic drive thru habit and only allow myself 1 can of diet coke a day.
Dave found some alcohol free wine at the grocery store this week. It tastes like tangy grape juice but it looks "right' in my glass so I feel like I'm having a glass of wine with dinner. My doctor says I can have an occasional glass of wine or A beer but I'm trying to keep that for special occasions only. Especially in the beginning.
I'm surprised I'm not in a complete coma by 8 pm these days but I've been able to make it until 9:30 before I HAVE to lie down. That is nice. It gives me some time to hang with my husband after the teenager goes to sleep.
Oh ok so the latest tests showed that I've got my thyroid under control. Which is probably why I'm able to stay awake until 9:30. It is down to .08 (I was close to 4.5 this time last year) and she may bump my dose a little higher to get the T4 where it needs to be. She wants my level to be just shy of hyperthyroid. I'm so glad I have a doctor that not only listened to me when I was having issues with my thyroid the last time we were pregnant and let me base my dosing on how I felt instead of a lab report. It turned out to be too little too late but she had gone on to do more research over the last year with I'm hoping will help this pregnancy be successful.
The beta test came back at 16,821 which is great! I'm right where I should be and the baby is doubling in size every 51 hrs. Isn't technology great!?!?!?!

Tuesday, October 20, 2009

First Dr's appt

I was terrified. We lost one last year at 8 weeks so I managed to get myself worked up pretty good while I was sitting in the waiting room. Then I thought my heart was going to leap out of my chest as I was laying there on the table as he was doing oh so fun internal sono.
The baby measured in at 5w5d which is a few days later than we thought it would be but there was an oh so faint flicker of a heartbeat which was a relief to see. I go back next Friday for a second sono.
They did the usual blood tests and then just because I'm so concerned she is doing another beta to see if the numbers are climbing like they should.
I've had cramps this morning but it's probably nothing. I hope.

Friday, October 9, 2009

Lookin good!

I finally got "stupid nurse" to call me back with my test results this morning. (she was supposed to call yesterday) I really do not like this new nurse my doctor has.
my progesterone levels were at 20.6 on Monday and they are still looking good at 20.2 and the beta was 552 on Monday and now it's at 1025! Yay! It's going in the right direction! (over 5 means you are pregnant and then your second test should be double the first one)
I've had some new symptoms....the funniest was having to make Dave wash his face because his facial hair smelled like old cardboard boxes. He was quite the sport. Especially after I told him that I had to wash my hair the other day when I got home because my hair stunk.

And miricle of all miracles! The SS came home with his 6 week report card and it had REALLY GOOD GRADES ON IT! Mostly B's and C's but last year he was bringing home mostly F's so this is A HUGE IMPROVEMENT! He even said he wasn't even trying that hard and that he can do better than that! WoW! I'm so proud of him! He's starting to make real progress this year.

Tuesday, October 6, 2009


We are pregnant! I was really surprised because I didn't have a single symptom that I thought I would. I tossed and turned with a RAGING backache all Sunday morning so I got up about 6 to put all of Dave's birthday presents out and decorated my blackboard door in the kitchen with a birthday sign (it turned out really cute!)

Then I got to counting and realized I was a few days late...hmmm.... So I thought I would go ahead and test even though I KNEW it would be negative. A few minutes later I was just staring at two little pink lines.

I had a funny card for Dave's 50th and a more sentimental one so I put the stick in the sentimental card and signed it from "The Youngest Yocum". When he FINALLY got up we had a little breakfast, he opened presents and then when he went to go take a shower I pulled him aside and told him I had one more thing for him. I sat him down on the bed and he opened his card. He said, Oh! You're pregnant!?!?!? There was mushy huggin and stuff that I won't bore you with but needless to say he thought that was a pretty cool birthday present.

We still have lots of hurdles to get past but I'm loving every bloated feeling, backache and smell that bothers me. It looks like we are at 4 weeks 6 days so I've got 7 weeks to hold my breath and cross my fingers.

Wednesday, September 23, 2009

Cooking lesson please?

My doctor's office called me to let me know that my cholesterol is too high (279 should be under 200 YIKES!)and that they would retest in a couple of months to see if I can get it down on my own through diet and exercise.

Yeah, I haven't been doing either since the wedding and I've gained about 15 lbs back. So I made dinner last night. Steamed fish and veggies (no oil)and I managed to burn both. Sigh.... I've got to get back into the habit of cooking my veggies in broth and find a bigger pot to use to steam stuff over. The one I used wasn't a good fit and all the steam escaped out of the sides instead of going up into the steamer.

Dave and the SS walked in just as I was juggling 2 blackened pans and frantically trying to find something to dump the veggies in so they wouldn't taste burnt. The SS opted to eat something else but the husband was a sport and didn't say a thing about the blackened bits.

Tuesday, September 22, 2009


We added a new Rx to the SS's daily medications that is supposed to help him concentrate at school.


In just a few days we have noticed huge improvements and yesterday....all on his own....he decided to stay AFTER SCHOOL and get some help with his homework. Homework that he finished in 20 minutes flat because he can finally "GET" what he is supposed to do.

He was in such a good mood when I got home from work yesterday evening that he was SINGING! OK, so it was just the hotpocket commercial but this child who was so surly back in May that he was downright scary was happy and singing.
It brought a tear to my eye.

Thursday, September 17, 2009

That wasn't as bad as I thought it would be....

Yesterday I had to go to see my ob/gyn.

It's the first time I've been there since probably December when I had my last checkup after the miscarriage. I got there about 10am for my appointment and the waiting room was OVERFLOWING with preggos. I knew it would be busy because Wednesdays are their ultrasound days and since I had to have one myself there wasn't a way to avoid it. It was hard at first and it doesn't help the only magazines they have in their waiting room were parenting magazines.

After about 45 minutes of slow deliberate breathing and blinking away tears, hoping no one noticed, I finally reached an internal calm. There was a woman sitting on the couch across from me that was at least 8 months pregnant. She was leaned back with her eyes closed and her big baby belly was doing a little mambo dance. It was mesmerizing. I sat there watching it moving for about 10 minutes until THANKFULLY they called me back for my scan.

After I got that fun exam out of the way I had to go back out to the waiting room to wait for my turn to see the doctor. I finally saw a REAL magazine and GRABBED IT! OK so it was only Better Home and Gardens but it was a welcome distraction.

When I finally got to see my Doctor she was so excited to see me. I love that about her. I'm sure she is that excited and caring towards all of her patients but it makes me feel good to think I'm her favorite. Her previous nurse Dot was walking by too. She had been my pregnant buddy...well for the few weeks that I was pregnant anyway. I was happy for her and I really did want to see her baby's pictures (most other folks I try to avoid still). He was adorable, as I knew he would be. It was hard but not as gut wrenching as I thought it might be. It's still sad to know that my little girl would have only been about 3 weeks younger than him.
When we were in the exam room Dr. W wanted to know if we had decided to start trying again just yet. I told her we had been trying since about Mar/April but no luck yet. The us tech had taken LOTS of pictures of my plumbing. Everything looks perfect so now she wants to check the husband. (boy, is he gonna love that)

It was great to hear that she has quite a few patients that are older than I am and trying to have their first babies. I don't feel like such an odd duck anymore. There are still people that are less than kind with their comments about 40 being too old to have kids. But those are usually the ones that got pregnant as teenagers or in their early 20's and are now on their 45th husband. I try not to tell too many people that we are trying. Let them be surprised when the time comes.

We are going to try a higher dose of thyroid. It's supposed to help if you can get it below 2. I'm hoping that I'm close to that now. I spoke with her about the issues we had with the SS but he's doing much better these days so that helps me with my stress level. The only other real stress I have to deal with is finding a new job. I need to find a new job because they keep putting "Ms. Sensitivity" as my supervisor. (That is the name Dr. W gave my boss after she wrote me up for having to take an extra half day off when I miscarried. It cracks me up every time she says it!)

So all in all not a bad visit. I got better news than I thought I would and hopefully when I go back next month for a follow up we'll be able to see what needs to be done next.

Sunday, August 23, 2009


School starts tomorrow and I never have been happier about that fact! I am praying that the ss can find a way to deal with his frustrations and issues and that we can make it through the school year with minimal issues!

On a brighter note...I GET TO SEE RADNEY FOSTER NEXT WEEKEND!!!! At my favorite place in the world (so far) Gruene Hall. The oldest (unairconditioned)dance hall in Texas. It's like going to a church revival to see him play there each summer. I guess it's kind of fitting that the title of his new CD that he'll be doing the CD release for is "Revival". I adore Radney and his wife Cyndi and the kids and I'm glad that he is finally getting his due these days.

Tuesday, August 4, 2009

A disturbing diagnosis

I was taking a shower yesterday morning, put my foot up on the side of the tub to shave my leg. I'm married now so I've gotta knock some stubble down from time to time ya know. Yeah, so I put my foot up on the side of the tub and my back went out. Jeez. I barely made it out of the shower.
Fortunately, my Chiro's office is about a mile from home so I limped in just as he was opening. Of course I was promptly scolded for not doing my exercises(nope, still haven't done them.)then he got to work bring me to tears from the pain. (maybe I'll start doing those exercises after all.) After a few minutes of being poked and prodded he said, here's the problem....your butt muscle isn't firing! I almost fell off the table laughing.

Monday, August 3, 2009


When I came home this evening my SS asked me how he would make a resume or an application so he could get a parttime job.
I pulled up some blank applications online and we went over how to fill one out. It was probably the nicest moment ever!

Sunday, August 2, 2009

How time flies!

It's 6:00 we've officially been married 3 whole months! Abracadabra and Fried Green Tomatoes my love!

Saturday, August 1, 2009


This poor ostrich isn't headless but I couldn't get him all in one shot. I thought this was pretty funny.

Crazy Emu "hair"

This guy like to hog all the attention...we finally figured out he is the decoy so the giraffe can steal the food from your cup.

The Aoudads had the coolest eyes...

Grant's Zebra...the babies are born with brown stripes
There were so many interesting animals it's hard to pick the best shots to share.

Thursday, July 30, 2009

Back to the vacation....

Now that my chiro has my head on straight(ish) I was able to get the rest of our photos from our vacation weekend sorted through.

After we left New Braunfels we drove north on 281 and enjoyed the pretty Hill Country. Our destination was Glen Rose Texas or to be more precise The Fossil Rim Wildlife Center. Dave had booked a room for us in the Lodge and as it turned out, we were the only ones that were staying there that night. THAT was wonderful. They have a self service bar, you just keep track of what you drink and turn it in when you check out. Those were some GOOOD DRINKS! There is a large deck on the second level where we sat and enjoyed watching the wildlife graze and roam.
The wallpaper in our bathroom was CRAZY!!! And the bedrooms on the 2nd and 3rd floor have very interesting sunken tubs. The original owner of the property was OBVIOUSLY a single gentleman. LOL

Wednesday, July 29, 2009

That was so rude of me.....

To just disappear....sorry! Between being irritated at the new hubby, overwhelmed with the ss's issues, and work stress I managed to give myself a massive mind numbing headache for the last couple of weeks. (Yeah, I don't get normal headaches, mine have stuck around for 20+ years thanks to the exhusband. And when they get bad they are really hard to get relief from.)

Thursday, July 16, 2009

Back from vacation....

It was supposed to be a honeymoon trip but The Boy's camp plans fell through so it ended up being just a family trip...

It wasn't a home run but it was mildly amusing.

We spent all day Saturday at Schlitterbahn in New Braunfels Texas with 15 THOUSAND other hot and sweaty and sun burnt folks. My forehead is still BRIGHT RED. I'm such an albino, I had a 45 sunblock on and still got fried. know you are old when you would rather hang out, floating in a tube with a cold beer in your hand and your bum in the 72 degree spring fed lagoon filled with the other OLD folks, than stand in line for EVERYTHING ELSE! Of course if you got a little chilly there were several large hot tubs that you could take a dip in. Best of all they all had swim up bars in them to ease the suffering. It was quite relaxing....

Saturday night we went to Gruene Hall, the oldest dance hall in Texas, and saw The Derailers. It was HOT!!! Did I mention, as one of it's oh so charming features, Gruene Hall DOES NOT HAVE AIR CONDITIONING AND IT WAS 104 DEGREES! Don't get me wrong I absolutely LOVE Gruene Hall. I am the first one to jump in my car and drive there on the hottest day of the year but DANG!!! I was already hot and sun burnt and did I mention.....HOT!!!!!!

Dave was proud of me. I had in my possession not one but TWO brand new Sharpies and I didn't abuse a single historic building!!!! Whew! It took some restraint but I managed to behave for once.

I did get the band to autograph the American Girl guitar I had bought for my niece a while back. Now it has The Derailers, Gurf Morlix, and Ray Wiley Hubbard. All I need to do is get a few more on there before her birthday later this month.
This pic was taken before the latest round of autographs.....

I'll take a new one and add it later...

Wednesday, July 15, 2009

A simple analogy

My friend Sylvia sent me this little gem. It's an interesting perspective
I'd like to hear your view on this (if you have one)

Subject: A simple analogy

An economics professor at a local college made a statement that he had never failed a single student before but had once failed an entire class.

That class had insisted that socialism worked and that no one would be poor and no one would be rich, a great equalizer.

The professor then said, "OK, we will have an experiment in this class on socialism. All grades would be averaged and everyone would receive the same grade so no one would fail and no one would receive an A.

After the first test, the grades were averaged and everyone got a B.

The students who studied hard were upset and the students who studied little were happy.

As the second test rolled around, the students who studied little had studied even less and the ones who studied hard decided they wanted a free ride too so they studied little.

The second test average was a D! No one was happy.

When the 3rd test rolled around, the average was an F.

The scores never increased as bickering, blame and name-calling all resulted in hard feelings and no one would study for the benefit of anyone else.

All failed, to their great surprise, and the professor told them that socialism would also ultimately fail because when the reward is great, the effort to succeed is great, but when government takes all the reward away, no one will try or want to succeed.

Could not be any simpler than that.

Friday, June 26, 2009

How cute!

A picture of the FIL at a play he was in. They think it was My Fair Lady. I love his gloves. So cool!

Another fun old picture

My dear husband is hiding in the back. I have never seen him without facial hair! Isn't his mother the most stylish thing you have ever seen? She still looks well put together even when no one is around.

Tuesday, June 23, 2009

An old picture....

Of my new father-in-law. Can I say WOW! He was quite the dapper fellow and even at 90 he can sing!!!!


I haven't had the energy to post about our honeymoon/meet the inlaws/trip to Palm Springs yet. But tonight Dave and the Boy went to see Eric Clapton and Steve Winwood because one of our most favorite friends had to go to China at the last minute and he gave us his tickets. I would have LOVED to go but since the Boy just turned 15 on Sunday I really thought this would be a good bonding night for them.

SOOOOO..... I have a blissfully quiet evening all to myself where I'm not doing laundry, dishes, cooking, worrying about the boy....yada yada yada....and to be fair Dave is AMAZING at doing all of the above items. We just usually do them together. Teamwork baby!!! Teamwork!

So back to our trip....

We were rushed to our seats when we got to the plane because there was another big storm coming and they wanted to get in the air before we were delayed. You would have laughed to see how fast people found their seats and got buckled in. I have to say it's the fastest I've ever seen a plane get in the air.

Once we got in the air the clouds were beautiful and ominous but mostly beautiful.

The airport in Palm Springs was pretty cool. It was much smaller than I thought it would be but very nifty. We stayed at Caliente Tropics which is an older hotel that Nancy Sinatra lived at for a while and as the web site says "Elvis visited". Ummm...yeah...I bet he did and I bet it wasn't someone he was supposed to "visit".

I was a little hesitant when I saw it just because this is supposed to be part of our honeymoon and I was being a little wierd about it. But it turned out to be perfect for our needs. We were only there to sleep, the rest of the trip was to visit with his family. The hotel had a really nice hot tub and pool, the room was comfortable, the mattress was really comfortable (very important to me) and there were little tiki men everywhere.

The tissue holder. It really looked funnier after you would pull one out.

Picture of the hotel from the hot tub.

Palm if you didn't know what those were.

Dave modeling my sunglasses.

Monday, June 22, 2009

Sun spots?

We had quite the weekend.
Friday night Dave went to get a massage. On the way back home our Passat dropped it's transmission. That was definately NOT the way we wanted to start our weekend. On the bright side the lady that he got the massage from saw him walking (yes, my husband is one of the 6 people out there that refuses to get a cell phone!)and came back to pick him up.
Saturday started out a little better. Dave had surprised me with a massage scheduled for mid morning and it was GREAT! After he dropped me off at the house to take a nap he went to take care of Zig (his name for the VW). When he got back in our fairly new Honda to meet with the tow truck the engine light came on. Thank goodness he has a little pickup that he keeps around to haul stuff in.
In the meanwhile my Gallopin' Ghost with 291,000 miles is still chuggin along (knock on wood!). She just needs an oil change.
Our neighbor swears it's because there have been sun spots lately.

Wednesday, June 17, 2009

And we ate here.....

It was my very first In and Out burger...double double animal. We split the fries and a pink lemonade. I'm still full and for some reason my pants don't fit.

We hung out with this guy in Palm Springs.....

Pretty cool....

The SS came home Monday night. Yesterday morning I took him to get enrolled in the summer program they referred him to and he was pretty stressed. So we talked through how his day would go, what to expect, maybe some things he could CHOOSE to do that would make it less torturous. I reminded him that it was ONLY a half of a day then he would be home.
By the time we got home last night the SS had mowed our front yard and one of the neighbor's front yards (the other one had company or he would have had it done too). He met me at the door in a really good mood. Said that he had had a really good day and expected tomorrow to be even better. Holy COW!!! Is this the same kid?
Even better than that is when he proclaimed (a couple of times) that dinner was "PERFECT".
YEAH, It was a good day.

Friday, June 12, 2009

Headin out!

I am completely worthless at work today. I'm making lists of what I need to pack (definately the camera and a swimsuit), what to buy (magazines) and what I really should do the minute I get off work at 12:00 (my toe nails in not really a waitress red)
The husband is already packed, 1 pair of shorts, 1 shirt and his swim suit. Of course he doesn't have to worry about making a good first impression because it's his family, AND he has been to Palm Springs and surrounding areas too many times to count. So as I panic about what to wear he just sighs and rolls his eyes.
I hope we get to the airport early enough for a couple of bloody mary''s my preflight routine before the preflight massage. I don't think we'll be lucky enough to have the new body scan machine in DFW yet.

Thursday, June 11, 2009

My Henry....

Henry is my best friend's dad. I've been friends with A since we met in a potato field at a farm outside our hometown when we were 4. As A and I got older I was always at their house. I was just one of his kids. He had 9 of them...who would notice one more!?!?!?!?
He was always generous with hugs and nice things to say. Something I NEVER got at home. A's mom was sick with Huntington's. By the time I was old enough to drive she could barely hold a cup. So we (A, me, her mom B, and usually her 3 brothers) would spend Saturday afternoons sitting around the dining room table playing trivial pursuit. Dang B was GOOD at that game! Then Henry would come home from working in the fields, filthy of course, and we would tease him about being a dirty old man then watch 60 minutes with him.
After we graduated from high school, moved away and A's mother passed away I always made an effort to stop and say hello to Henry when I would go back home. His routine hadn't changed much from when I was in high school so I knew when he would be in the fields near my parents home or when he would be having lunch at the little cafe with the rest of the little old farmers. If he wasn't there I would keep my eye out for that old blue farm truck that was traveling slow. Sometimes I would just get to wave at him as I passed by but at least I got to see him.
From time to time when he "went to town" (that would be the next town over where you had to go to buy groceries and go to Wal-Mart) he would run into one of my family members and ask about me. Dad would usually call me and say "we saw your boyfriend today!" They know how special he is to me so they would always give me an update on his health and how he was getting around.
Henry is in his 80's now. He was thrilled when he got our wedding invitation. I've been told he drove all over town showing it to people. I had planned to make a trip to OK after the wedding to see him because I knew there wasn't any way that he could make the trip down for the wedding. I was so happy to be wrong!!! A asked if it would be OK if she brought him with her the Thursday before the wedding and let him hang out with us while we were doing all the last minute things. I was so touched that she would do that! She flew Henry down to Houston, picked him up at the airport then drove up to Slocum. While we worked on decorations, tables, flowers etc Henry was parked in a comfy chair and spinning tall tales for us all. That boy sure knows how to elaborate on a story! LOL! He was hugging on all the ladies and telling them how pretty they were. It was just a lovely getting to spend this time with him.
I don't know how many years we will have him with us but I will be forever grateful that he got to be front and center at my wedding.

Tuesday, June 9, 2009



Everyday is Earth Day

An amazing man that I had the honor of knowing passed away recently. And since I can't seem to get my blog to take links you'll have to copy and paste this link.

And this is a really nice article that was written about him not very long ago. It's humbling to see all that he accomplished in his lifetime, and how his passion inspired so many.

If you are ever down in Costa Rica look for the trail that they named in his honor. Now go out and do something nice for the Earth in Dr. Joe's memory.

For former Nolan ecology teacher, every day is Earth Day


Dr. Joe Kuban’s speech loss is hard, wife DeLane says, "because he has so much to say." S-T/JOYCE MARSHALL

Nolan Catholic High School’s field biology class was returning from a summer trip to Port Aransas when a familiar voice suddenly pierced the silence.

"Stop the bus!" the teacher called out.

Dozing students sat up.

A black-bodied bird stood in the road, its curved beak pecking at roadkill.

Dr. Joe Kuban recognized the species immediately.

It was a crested caracara (Polyborus plancus), and the instructor saw this unexpected sighting as an opportunity to tell his students all about the migratory pattern and diet of this colorfully named member of the falcon family.

Katie Newman smilingly recalls Kuban’s excitement.

At school, and on excursions to the Gulf Coast, Big Bend National Park and the tropical rainforest in Costa Rica, this animated, exuberant educator always made the world of nature interesting and fun.

Kuban and his students turned over rocks. Identified trees, flowers and marine life.

They viewed sunrises and sat in the glow of a crackling campfire as their teacher played his guitar under the stars.

In 1974, Kuban founded what is believed to be the longest-running high school ecology studies program in the United States.

The Nolan alumnus taught generations of students to appreciate flora and fauna and impressed upon them their responsibility to serve as stewards of the land.

Among his saying, known as "Kubanisms": "If you’re not recycling, you don’t deserve to use any of the Earth’s resources."

For Kuban, every day — not just April 22 — is Earth Day.

"Dr. Kuban," Newman said, "was the most incredible teacher I ever had."

Now a senior, Newman is president of Nolan’s ecology club. She plans to study environmental science and elementary education at Saint Louis University.

She and others students in Nolan’s senior ecology program, now headed by Ellen Browning, made another trip a few weeks ago, to a modest brick home in south Arlington.

The resident met the visitors at the door, his whiskered face beaming.

He can’t hike miles of mountain trails, as he once did.

Kuban, 58, uses a wheelchair.

Although his mind is still sharp, in recent months he has lost the ability to speak.

"It’s frustrating," said his wife, DeLane, "because he has so much to say."

Still, his positive nature remains unwavering. Ask how he is doing, and Kuban lifts his left hand and gives a thumbs-up.

About 2  1/2 years ago, the Kubans learned that Joe has amyotrophic lateral sclerosis, also known as Lou Gehrig’s disease. ALS, which affects about 30,000 people in the United States, causes loss of muscle function and eventually paralysis. Patients typically live two to five years.

Kuban continued to teach at Nolan after his diagnosis, zipping along the hallways on a motorized scooter.

Students decorated the vehicle and equipped it with a horn.

"Joe never went through a denial phase," said Brother Al Kuntemeier, a longtime Nolan teacher, counselor and coach, and the bus driver on Kuban’s field trips. "He just kept saying — his words — 'I’m going as long and as hard as I can.’ That’s what he did."

The popular teacher gave up his calling last spring. Now he spends his days at home.

"He loves those kids," DeLane Kuban said. Their visit "meant the world to him."

Nature and music

Growing up near Lake Worth, Joe Kuban possessed an interest in nature.

He once glued a string to a tortoise’s shell and tied the other end to a tree. The boy wanted to track the reptile’s travel. Did a turtle possess wanderlust? Where would it go? And how far?

Next day, he discovered the string wrapped around the tree. The turtle had circled it like a maypole.

Kuban’s life followed a purposeful, straightforward path. He received two science degrees from the University of Texas at Arlington and later earned his doctorate at Syracuse University. For his dissertation, he returned to Big Bend — his favorite place — where he studied the century plant.

Kuban also pursued his love of music. In high school he sang and performed with a rock band. After returning to Nolan as a teacher in 1973, he started an annual tradition by writing a song dedicated to each senior class.

In recent years he has composed and performed ballads about the beauty of Texas, particularly Big Bend. By the time Joe Kuban and The Lost Chizo Band recorded their second album in the summer of 2007, the lead singer was already experiencing the debilitating effects of his incurable disease.

Frank Kuban saw his brother’s determination.

"It was a little difficult," said Frank Kuban, a member of the band. "But Joe wanted to get these songs out."

Kuban’s music and his former students are testimony to his environmental legacy.

John Styrsky, a 1988 Nolan graduate, is an assistant biology professor at Lynchburg (Va.) College. He took Kuban’s senior-level ecology course and happily anticipated the field trips. They explored the Big Thicket National Preserve in East Texas and studied the coral reefs and marine environment around the Cayman Islands in the Caribbean.

"Dr. Kuban set me on that path," Styrsky said.

Tiffany Bright studied wildflowers in Tandy Hills Park, a nature preserve in Fort Worth, and experienced the wonder of floating in a small craft along meandering canals in Costa Rica after dark, listening to nature’s nocturnal serenade.

The 1994 Nolan graduate still can see their guide aiming his flashlight into the jungle.

"We would see these pairs of eyes looking back at us," she said.

Bright, 32, now works as an environmental engineer for a consulting company in Dallas.

The apprentice

After his ALS diagnosis in the fall of 2006, Kuban began looking for someone to carry on his work at Nolan. He found that person while serving as an adjunct professor at UT-Arlington.

A graduate student, Browning shared Kuban’s interest in bobcats and love for Big Bend. In the summer of 2007 she accompanied the professor to the national park. Browning had considered a career with the National Park Service or U.S. Fish and Wildlife Service, but when Kuban asked whether she would agree to replace him at the high school, she was surprised and honored. She couldn’t say no.

Browning spent the 2007-08 school year at Kuban’s side, observing and learning. She witnessed his special relationship with students and saw, and heard in his voice, his passion for protecting the environment. During her first week at Nolan, Browning and Kuban went to lunch. That hot August day, as they drove away from the school, Kuban spotted workers seated on riding mowers, cutting the grass.

"I told them not to mow in the afternoon when it’s an ozone alert day!" Kuban thundered.

He appeared visibly upset.

"I thought to myself, 'This guy is the real thing,’ " Browning recalled.

Kuban’s educational contribution hasn’t gone unappreciated. At Nolan’s Fort Worth campus, a plaque celebrates his teaching, music and conservation efforts. Members of Kuban’s graduating Class of 1968 are funding two $5,000 college scholarships in his honor, one for excellence in science, the other in music.

The ecology classroom where he taught has the feel of a museum. It is filled with items Kuban collected through the years. A library of reference books, with titles like TheNaked Ape. National Geographic magazines. Globes. Long-handled nets. On one wall hangs a long, woven basketlike nest of the oropendola bird from Costa Rica.

There also is a signed photograph of Jane Goodall.

The renowned primatologist visited the class after Kuban received the 1995 Goodall ecology award.

'There’s a reason for this’

DeLane was living in Houston when her sister in Fort Worth urged her to meet him.

"He’s geographically unacceptable," DeLane said.

"You don’t have to marry the man," her sibling reasoned. "Just go out to dinner."

As DeLane related the story, she gazed across the kitchen table at her best friend and husband of 11 years.

"And, here I am," she said to him.

At first they thought the weakness Kuban felt in his right leg might be a side effect of his cholesterol medication. Later, his fingers started twitching. Then, after neurological tests, they learned the awful truth.

"I knew what ALS was," DeLane said. "But I never had a patient. Until Joe."

Unfortunately, her skills as a physical therapist cannot reverse the damage or hold the relentless disease at bay. Every day she witnesses her husband’s strong will, his quiet courage, his good nature, the steadfastness of his faith.

"Joe told me, 'There’s a reason for this. I just don’t know what it is,’ " DeLane said.

She paused and manufactured a smile.

"I’m the one screaming at the heavens."

On Wednesday, they plan to attend an Earth Day event at the Nolan campus. In Kuban’s honor, faculty and students will plant a young evergreen tree that will be lit each Christmas.

On this spring afternoon, this exceptional man looks silently through a glass door and gazes at the potted red geranium DeLane placed on the back porch. There are no crested caracaras. A feeder attracts other welcome visitors, though — chickadees, sparrows, the tufted titmouse, an occasional finch.

All carry a song, but none is purer than Joe Kuban’s last album track, a gift to his companion, sung with all the feeling and strength his faltering voice could muster:

You may weaken my body

Make me stumble when I walk

My right hand’s tremblin’

And I slur words when I talk

You might steal my last step

You might rob my last breath

But you can’t take the love

You can’t take the love of this woman

From me.


Understanding ALS April is National ALS Awareness Month.

The ALS Association’s "ALS Across America" campaign recognizes people like Dr. Joe Kuban of Arlington and other Americans who are living with amyotrophic lateral sclerosis.

ALS, also known as Lou Gehrig’s disease, is a progressive, neurodegenerative disease. As many as 30,000 people in the U.S. are affected, and about 5,600 cases are diagnosed in the U.S. each year.

Survival averages two to five years after diagnosis.

ALS is not contagious. There is no known cure.

Information: or 800-782-4747

Monday, June 8, 2009

Another little Honeymoon trip....

I was looking online for some information about Palm Springs and Joshua Tree for our trip this weekend. I found this great picture of Joshua Tree by Scott Mansfield. It ALMOST makes me want to go hiking through the desert. ALMOST.
I'm REALLY nervous but definately looking forward to our trip to see Dave's family. We are flying into Palm Springs friday evening. We should get into town early enough for dinner and some window shopping (I hope). He thinks we are going to spend the evening sitting in the hot tub. I am good with about 30 minutes of hot tubbin then I'm all wrinkly and done.
Saturday we are driving out to his parent's place that is (somewhat) near Joshua Tree. They don't know we are going to be there for his Dad's 90th birthday luncheon. YAY FUN!!!! I hope he likes surprises! I haven't met any of them yet so I'm probably going to be a nervous wreck right up until we get there.

Friday, June 5, 2009 this REDNECK????

Can you hear the chanting in the background? CHUG!!! CHUG!!! CHUG!!!