I have been so mentally exhausted for the last couple of months while dealing with psyco boss that I couldn't even bring myself to post anything on here. I am NOT at the dungeon of doom any longer. Praise God! I think he truly helped me get away from that environment. I am slowly starting to get back to being myself although I still can't hold a thought in my head for very long. Of course that could have something to do with the landing almost on my head when I fell off a ladder that same week. Nothing broken but I landed on my shoulders/base of my neck and knocked the wind out of myself. I am still sore but I have the best chiro so I am almost back to normal. I am working on trying to get a used IMac since I can't afford a new one at the moment. Hopefully the contact I have will have something that can do the job for about a year or so while I get things going with the business. I should have the website up and running before too much longer. Once that is finished I will share it with you! Funny story for y'all. I helped with a bridal shoot on Monday down in the FW stockyards. While the bride was being set up infront of this old painted wall....a bird pooped on her VEIL! Everyone gasped! Especially the bride!!! Then we were doubled over laughing until we were crying! Thank goodness for brides with a sense of humor!

Seriously reaching my limit....

There is an end in sight to the nightmare job from hell. A certain point my husband and I both agreed on but now that I know what that is, I can hardly stand the wait! I've worked for some crazy people before but the delusions of some of these people...wow! That is all I can say. Just. WOW! And when the entire group talked to HR about it he basically told us too bad. Not that we really expected him to be helpful. It just confirmed that there is only one way to change it and that is to get the heck out as fast as possible and never look back.

We haven't heard a peep from the stepson while he is at camp. We sent letters from us and from the dog. (She wasn't so crazy about the ink pad I was using on her to make paw prints but I made up for it with letting her play in the sprinkler afterwards so I think I'm forgiven.) We haven't received a letter in return though.
They post pictures on facebook and their website so the parents see how things are going. Looks like they are having fun but the only 2 pics I've seen of our little camper he looks pissed off. Or is that his badass Marine face? I can't tell. They are basically the same look.

Funny story....

We shot a wedding a couple of weeks ago and just after the formal pics are done they go right into the newlywed's first dance. After that the couple always goes and takes a breather while people go through the buffet.
So the bride takes the opportunity to go to the bathroom. BUT instead of having someone help her with the dress she took it off. When they went to zip her back in they broke the zipper.
Wait....they didn't just break they mauled the zipper! A normal broken zipper you can get to work again if you know what you are doing. With this zipper, there were teeth missing. No fixing that! So there were about 5 of us trying to sew the poor girl back in her dress. It was the funniest thing I have ever seen!

Thank goodness she had a great sense of humor about it all!

Pincushion....and decisions....

about a month ago I started getting weekly acupunture treatments.

I keep hearing from women in the support group that it helped them so I figured it would be worth a try. We can't afford to go the donor egg route so at least I feel like I am trying SOMETHING. I know in some ways it's helping but I've gone from 26 day cycles to 23 and now 21. WTF?!?

Work is stressful so I am sure that isn't helping but I haven't had stress affect my like that since I was a teenager.

Biggest decision of the week? I am quitting my job in a couple of weeks....

Camp....

The Stepson wants to go to a military camp this summer.

The same one that sits in his room all day playing games, thinks walking in a circle around the kitchen-living room-hall is the same as working out. Has to be reminded to bath...and brush his teeth....and change his clothes.


He told Dave that he wanted to go but only if THEY WEREN'T TOO SOFT ON HIM!

I REALLY REALLY HOPE HE GETS IN! LOL! Oh and did I mention it's down on the border near Mexico? It is going to be HOT! I have a feeling he'll flake out and change his mind at the last minute but boy would it be a good learning experience for him!

Going to my happy place.....

Here are 2 pictures from the portrait session I shot on Sunday.

UN-believable....

HR chick summoned me to her office yesterday afternoon.

Apparently Belcher ran straight to her office after I spoke with her the second time. She did her best to make me out to be the bad guy. Of Course. That is what she has done for the last 3 years. Every chance she gets.

Shocking part is that HR APOLOGIZED TO ME on behalf of the company. And told me all about her conversation with Belcher and how she set her straight on WHY what she did was WRONG.

I am still the most hated person in the building but at least I can breath. And get some work done.

Craptabulous....

I had a total panic attack meltdown yesterday. It was LOADS of fun.

You know that sensation where you feel like you have to get out of a room NOW? I have been fighting that for a few weeks.

For the last couple of weeks the preggo/baby talk was getting a little overwhelming but then this week they were supposed to find out the sex.

Cue the pink and blue papers being passed to every single department in the building for everyone to guess what it was going to be. Then on top of that Belcher making 3-6 stops at almost every desk in my department (literally) DAILY so she could share every little ache, pain and twinge. The whole time I tried to either plastered a smile on my face and acted like I gave a shit, head down busting out my phone calls so I don’t have to hear the chatter or, if I was able, left the room.

So yesterday she was going to wear the “winning” color. Great….she wore blue….blah blah blah. Bully for her. I was able to block it out most of the morning.

About mid morning she made her first of many stops in our department…with u/s pictures. Ok, I’m thinking she’ll just be here for a little while…I think I can deal with this. Nope….after 5 solid minutes I had to leave the room. I tried to tune it out, I tried making more phone calls so I couldn’t hear them…they just talked louder….I had to get out of there. I couldn’t breath. I HAD to get out of there. So I went and hung out in the Ladies lounge. Chilled on the couch for a little while, practiced my breathing. Calmed myself down. Somewhat.

By the time I went to lunch I was barely hanging on because by this point the entire department had baby fever. I went in the ladies lounge at lunch and kicked back on the couch for a little while to clear my head, put a box full of band aids on my bruised and battered heart and tried to put it out of my mind. Guess who walks in.

Yup. Belcher

By this time I had decided enough was enough. So as she was blathering on about it being a boy I told her. Look, I am very happy for you. But I don’t want you to be offended if I don’t want to hear about it all. I’ve been through 5 miscarriages in the last couple of years and it’s just very difficult for me to be around right now. She said Oh….I totally understand. Wow 5.

At this point I’m thinking…whew…that went well. But I bet it’s going to come back to bite me in the ass.

So I went back to my desk, thinking maybe I can make it through the rest of the day without anymore tears. Man was I wrong.

Less than an HOUR later. Guess who showed up. Not only did she come “in the department” but she was at the cubicle next to mine. WTF!!! Ok so now I KNOW that this stupid bitch is doing it on purpose. I tried all the usual distracting stuff…nothing worked. Turned the music up LOUD….they just talked louder and more people joined in on the conversation. PEOPLE THAT I HAVE TOLD “look, this is what I’ve been through. I am not up to hearing this stuff”. Are people that fucking clueless? Whatever. So, I left the room….for a long time…hung out in my safe place (ladies lounge) and tried to regroup.

When I left the lounge, Belcher was walking by. So I stopped her and said “look. I thought you understood. You need to warn me or give me a heads up that you are going to be coming back there so that If I need to leave I have that option.” She feigned a confused look. And said Oh, OK. I just wanted to punch her lights out. But I didn’t.

By the time I got back to my desk (again the entire room, including the men were high on baby fever) I couldn’t breath, I was shaking and I couldn’t fight the urge to run any longer. I grabbed my stuff, hit the button to turn off the computer and told crazy crack ho boss I was leaving. Apparently I freaked her out because she wouldn’t let me leave and found me a quiet room to sit and calm down in. We chatted for a while she started crying and said she felt really bad that she hadn’t stepped in and told Keri to go back to her own department. I told her it’s been like being stuck in a never ending baby shower from hell complete with games from the minute I walk in the door until I leave every day.

Wow…I made the crack ho cry. She has feelings after all. Crazy…

After I calmed down was able to breath instead of hyperventilating and stopped shaking as bad she let me take off.

I don’t’ know what was said after I left but it is deathly quiet in here today. So now I’ll be the most hated person in the building. Perfect craptabulous way to end a crappy week.

I did it!

I am offically a small business owner.

I was home yesterday with a jacked up neck. I went to the chiro at 7 and he worked on me and put me on a traction table. I could barely move even after he worked on me so he told me (half jokingly) to go home, take 2 or 3 painkillers, muscle relaxers or whatever I might have and crawl in bed with an ice pack until later that afternoon when he wanted me to come back so he could work on me some more.

I made it to about 1 before I started going stir crazy so I got online and figured out (in a painkiller induced haze) how to get my photography business registered and the tax id stuff done.

Tonight I will register the domain name and I have a friend that has offered to creat a website for me once I get that done.

Baby steps.....and a sweet picture of my niece I took last weekend.

FOUND!

We got her back last night…whew!

She managed to get out of the fence (My Husband has it blockaded now until he
gets it replaced. It looked fine but somehow she figured out how to squeeze
through a loose board) and a lady that was taking down a pool across the street
at the tweakers house found her and took her home.

That lady called me yesterday morning but when I tried to meet with her right away she said she couldn't but would bring the puppy home that evening.

THEN I got a phone call from another lady who was rambling and saying she had my dog and that she had to break into this other ladies house to rescue her and that it wasn't about the reward BUT she had to spend $75 to get a new key for her truck plus gas to get the dog back to us. It was FREAKY!

I was really stressing over this crazy lady's call. She was in our neighborhood
so I called our Son and told him what was going on and to call our neighbor to
go out with him to get the dog since I didn't know what we were dealing with. Crazy lady sounded higher than a kite....

Our 16 year old 6 ft+ son was smart and didn't go out just in sweats he was in
full combat gear. LOL That was the one time I TOTALLY DIDN'T MIND his crazy
military look. He walked over to the crazy lady's side but the dog was on the
other side so he went over there. Got the dog FIRST and then confirmed it was our dog and gave them $20.
The signs said Reward, they just didn't say how much and frankly I don't have a
lot to give away this week. The whole thing sounded shady so I wasn't really interested in supporting someone drug habit.

A few minutes later I got the call letting me know he had the dog back home
again. Huge sigh of relief!

THEN I had another call which I let go to VM since I was on another call at
work. Crazy lady called back sobbing and boo hooing telling me how I ripped her
off, but it wasn't about the reward money, but I ripped her off and only gave
her $20 when it cost her over $125 to rescue my dog and take care of her and get
her back to us. At this point I am freaking out. I call our Son and tell him
to stay in the house with the doors locked because I don't know what they would
do if they were really that upset we only gave them $20.

Then crazy lady calls back and leaves another message telling me how she had to go and break into the first lady's garage and rescue the puppy because the other lady was only going to use her for the reward money and blah blah blah…. I called My Husband, then called my son, I almost called the police at this point. It was crazy. I was at work and couldn't do anything.

So fast forward to last night…

Our son and I took the puppy to the vet for her shots she was supposed to get on
Monday; I also had them put a chip in her just in case she ever goes missing
again. (Our Son thought it was like lojack and he could see where Nell was at
all times, which isn't a bad idea)

While we are at the vet clinic Dave goes over to the tweakers house to see if he can figure out what was really going on. I had played the messages for him when he got home and he just wanted to find out what the heck was going on. Fortunately it was just crazy crack head lady making it into a big ol' ordeal because she and the rest
of the crack heads have been evicted and have to be out of the house by Friday
and she thought she would get a little moving money out of us. The first lady
was fairly normal, just an old biker chick that was trying to do a good deed.
Crack head was still trying to get more money out of Dave so he offered her a
couple of steaks instead and she was happy about that.


Hopefully that will be the last we hear from those crazy a$$ people! And I
think our son has a much better understanding of what he needs to be doing to
watch the puppy.

Lost..

Nell the puppy is lost. My heart is broken.
The stepson was watching her. She was outside sleeping at 9 am then when he went to check on her around 10:30 she was gone.
We've put signs up, looked everywhere at least 3 times. Nothing
Dave is broken up, the ss is angry and I don't know how many more losses I have in me.
Wanna know what the real kicker is? She was 9 weeks. Can't even keep a dog past 9 weeks.

Having trouble deciding....

I have 2 names for my photography business that I am torn between. So I am asking for a vote to help me decide. I checked and both names are available so if anyone steals my idea I'll come and kick your hiney! LOL

Name #1

Cu.rly Wil.low Pho.togr.aphy

Name #2

Ba.rbed Wi.re and Bego.ni.as Phot.ograhy

Cast your vote......NOW!!! Cause I'm registering the name next week.

You are kidding? Right?

There is a really obnoxious person that I work with that made my life hell when I was in that department (a whole 20 feet away from where I am now) I couldn't talk to a customer on the phone without them having to hear her singing off key, burping, belching and yes... farting.



Guess who is pregnant? BARELY PREGNANT?


Also.....

Guess who sent out an email to everyone in the company yesterday asking for address so they could send BABY SHOWER INVITATIONS out in AUGUST. WTF?!?!? Afraid you aren't going to get enough PRESENTS you greedy little pig?

I am behaving very well. I didn't say anything about the tacky factor of it all. I just deleted the email....but not before sending it to my best friend so we could roll our eyes in unison.

I was going to wait and just quit when I got my photography business up and running but I am thinking for sanity's sake I need to find another job even if it's just part time so I can regroup and get back to the person I know deep down I still am. Being in this toxic (literally and figuratively) building just kills my spirit a little more everyday. I barely recognize myself anymore.

But again....I am keeping all that to myself and playing nicely with others until I can escape.

Reading....

Ok, so you can laugh at me now.


I got a reading from an online psychic recently.


Hmmm......does that make me a loony tune?




Carla, huggggggggggggggsss it feels like you guys keep hitting your heads against the wall over and over and over again, it is like you are trying to fight your own destiny and lose every single time and then go back to the same destructive behavior which is creating a nightmare for you in your relationship and marriage..........childbirth and children are supposed to be a blessing not a curse, a joyous time...not stressful and upsetting....sensing you should go with the flow...events and situations are guideposts for you...signs to read and follow to get back on the path you are supposed to be walking....maybe foster parenting is what is called for now....to take in abused children with no home or love and shower them with all your pent up love and giving.....to release the love and affection you want so badly to give.....and maybe in the process of that...a miracle will happen...God will bless you for your efforts and provide you with children...maybe not naturally...but does it really matter?? parenting is more than a biological even...some of the worst parents in the world are biological parents and nothing else...it takes more than that...try the donor eggs....you must....ask God for a miracle and a blessing...pray over it...then i want you to relax and let go...put all your stress and worry in God's Hands...what will be will be...give it a shot..with that attitude...if it is meant to be..it will happen..if not..you tried and again....feeling so very strongly that adoption of a very abused young girl is your path...there is a soul out there that needs you so very badly...and the fit will be magical and what you guys were destined to do ..all along.......stop the negative thinking and start praying....only positive thoughts..from this point on...nothing negative..with the understanding that things are in God;s Hands....Children are little miracles and gifts from God that are to be cherished..irregardless if they are own biologically or not....this is what i am sensing for you........Reiki Blessings of fertility and peace and love and wisdom and courage and faith on the way to you both, may God Bless you and give you the wisdom to follow His Lead and to have the faith of a child.........amen and amen...huggggggggggggggggggggggggss

I can't bring myself to go back there....

Last week I went in for another blood. It had dropped to 8. Not pregnant is anything below 5. The nurse told me to schedule another blood test but I just can't do it. Enough! 3 measly points is not going to matter. I usually don't have a problem with the extra tests and such that I have to do. NORMALLY. But this just feels excessive.
But seriously? I can't see the value in yet another $40 test to tell me that my HCG has dropped from 8 to below 5. It's not like I am an IVF patient. And the desperation that made me think we would go straight into a DE cycle has calmed down as the hormones have dropped. Right this minute I do not want to think about getting pregnant.
I have started taking my vitamins and regular doses of meds again. I always stop taking everything right after a m/c and it takes about a month before I feel up for starting that routine back up. I'm not taking the "trying to get pregnant" doses. Just the regular "gotta maintain this shit" dose.
I think I'll put that $40 towards a mani/pedi.

Stepping back and refocusing...

I'm tired of being cranky. I'm tired of this funk that won't go away. Mostly, I'm tired of being in pain. So I went and had more injections, 8 in total, in my jaw joint and muscles that lead up from the jaw area. Ahhh...sweet...RELIEF!!!

Amazing how just fixing that will help with the mood swings.

I even tolerated sitting in the waiting room for FOUR HOURS because I really needed the pain relief. Needless to say I won't be going back to that Doctor after having to wait that long, but I think I found another Dr that has an office near where I work and near home too.

I have been focusing on getting my photography business started. I am still trying to narrow down the name I want to use though. I have about 4 that I like. I was thinking of posting them here so I could get some feedback....or suggestions. Oh and I just had to share my favorite picture of the weekend. ~sigh~ I just love it. Of course, it helps to have a great model....oh and R.ad.ney is pretty photogenic too. He's such a sweetheart.

Speaking of things I love.....

I found something to help me cope with all the losses and crap that have been sucking me down into a deep dark black hole of dispair.

You sure you want to see this?

Awwww.....

Introducing Nell my new "therapy" dog. Such a sweet and prissy little thing. LOL Of course, I wasn't thinking she was so sweet at 4:15 this morning when she woke me up and wouldn't stop crying. That's ok I loved every sleepless minute of it.

You have got to be freakin kidding...

The 16 year old stepson started a new gym class this semester. He was all excited because they will be doing a bunch of different stuff. He's not exactly an athletic kid even though he's over 6 foot and would be a great at basket ball.

So day before yesterday they did weightlifting. YESTERDAY morning he refused to get out of bed to go to school because he was SORE. WTF. Are you freaking kidding me? And of course his Dad caves and lets him stay home.

I was so pissed I could have spit nails and every time I thought about it it just made me more mad. I was still pissed when I got home last night. I was a bit of a smart ass when the SS finally came out of his room to go run an errand with his dad. I asked if he needed help walking cause you know that is really difficult to do. Dumbass.

Good thing I had a photography class to go to so I didn't have to deal with either one of them because there would have been a huge fight.

109 and falling...

Ugh. I just KNEW that last weekend was the last round of "crud".

Nope.

The u/s on Monday showed that there are a few stragglers that just don't want to give up yet. (It looked like a jigsaw puzzle in there.) They had switched it over to show blood flow which was pretty cool to see but really annoying to see that it's not done yet.

Blood test came back at 109 so we are heading in the right direction.

I want to try another round (or two) on our own before going with DE (if we ever do) but I want to try using steroids along with the rest of the meds. Doc calls it hocus pocus but even though research says it really doesn't help if I WANT to try it he is good with it. He said he used a lot of h/p when he and his wife were trying to get pregnant and now they have a 4 and 6 year old.

Dr. K also gave me a Rx for a high powered antibiotic since it's taking a while to get rid of everything. I don't have an infection but it's just to keep me from getting one. I almost had a heart attack when I got it filled. I really thought they were kidding when they said how much it was. I guess I've been spoiled with cheap(ish) generic drugs until now. LOL! The girl at Target gave me a $10 gift card since it was a new Rx instead of giving me the coupon to use the next time I had a new Rx.

I go back Monday for another look.

Oh and I almost forgot. Dr. K said I looked and sounded like I was getting my "spark" back. Awww...thanks. I needed that.

Dave has been busy practicing with a new band and helping a friend record a new album so I think that has helped keep him distracted. So far the getting blotto was just a few isolated instances. Thank goodness! I get a little freaked out if I think he's drinking too much even though to others it probably isn't.

We were sitting in the living room after he got home from practice on Sunday and he was talking about how blessed he feels, despite all the crap that we've dealt with, and how nice it was to feel appreciated by me and all these other folks. I am glad he feels that way.

SOME good news....

The RE wanted to do a d&e last Friday but when I went in on Thursday the u/s looked like there was just a little tissue left. They didn't see the sac so he said that either I passed it already or it's collapsed and I should pass it soon. The good news was I didn't have to do surgery.
I've been really pissy with Dave lately. Over stupid stuff. Well not so stupid. He comes home after a hard day of work and has a beer...or two. I don't have a problem with that. BUT when he comes home and has a couple of shots....several beers and then most of a bottle of wine it pisses me off. ESPECIALLY when he keeps me awake all night with his snoring. I'm sure that is his way of dealing with the crapfest but I am NOT going to deal with a drunk every night. It's time for him to start reining it in.
Yeah I know. I'm getting bitchy. I started back on the happy pills this week.

Almost done...

Friday and Saturday night I woke up with lots of cramping, bleeding etc. It tapered off so I thought it was done. Tuesday it started up again with the cramping but not much more. Wednesday was more of the same so we did an u/s this morning. It looks like the sac passed or has collapsed and will pass very soon and it only looked like a little more tissue was left to get rid of. Thank goodness I will be able to avoid surgery. They had me scheduled to do another D&E on Friday but we were able to cancel that.
I feel like this has lasted 6 months.

I told the Dr that Dave and I wanted to come in and really talk about the nitty gritty of doing a donor egg. He's excited that we are more open to the idea of going that route. Obviously I can get pregnant and stay pregnant I just am not getting good quality eggs of my own to make a viable baby. ~sigh~ He said to take a little time to get over this one and in a few weeks make an appointment. With my age I can't wait too long though.

I'm loading up on amino acids, vit C, B, E, Zinc and CoQ10 in the meantime. Maybe just maybe I can come up with one good egg of my own in a couple of months and we won't need to look at the DE route.

Still in limbo...

Well...waiting 48 hrs and taking another dose did absolutely nothing. On the bright side it I had zero side effects and I was able to sleep pretty well that night as well. I have another call into the Dr's office to see if we could do 2 doses closer together. I REALLY don't want to do surgery. I just don't (as I stamp my foot).
I sometimes wonder if letting my body go through all this will help the next pregnancy work out better. See...I told you I was nuts...stupid RPL makes me have all kinds of weird thoughts and superstitions these days.

I also just remembered that it is International Blog Delurking Week this week. Come out of the shadows and just say hi. Come on....I double dog dare you.

Halfway there....and whole lotta TMI you might want to skip.

I called the Dr's office back on Monday because I am just DONE with waiting. They called in the Rx for cy.to.te.c some painkillers and a strong dose of ibuprofen which I've never had before but LOVED.
I thought about waiting until the weekend but 1) I was so ready to get it all over with, 2)weekends are so busy for us, 3)I didn't want to deal with this when the stepson was around because he doesn't know, and 4) I was afraid that I would chicken out if I waited so I went ahead and used it.
I inserted them at 7:30 nothing happened at all. I went to bed just before 10 and woke up with strong cramps about 11:30. Not too bad, just annoying enough to keep me from really falling asleep again.
After about an hour I got up and decided to hang out in the living room so I didn't wake Dave up. The cramping got a little stronger. A few times I had to breath through it but that didn't last long. The spotting had picked up by this time but still not much was happening.
About 4 am I starting getting stronger more contraction like pains. Walking around the living room or swaying helped. So did the heating pad although I would recommend having 2 since I needed one for my back too at this point. I took another dose of the painkillers. I passing some clots by this time but still not much.
5 am I was having a hard time getting into a comfortable position. I spent a lot of time just sitting in the bathroom because it was more comfortable. I would say it was about a 7 1/2 on the pain scale by this point. It would have been better if I had taken the meds like I was supposed to.
I had moved back to the couch since the cramping had lightened up a bit. I took another dose of the Ibuprofen since the painkiller didn't seem to be helping much. It was kinda funny I couldn't keep track of time very well and I sat there for a long time trying to figure out if it had been long enough to take another dose yet. I couldn't count at all. It was a really weird feeling. I seriously could not count how many hours it had been since midnight. It was like my brain had been turned off.
About 5 am I felt a big gush. Great fun. Thankfully I got to the bathroom before it got too bad. I cleaned myself up then went and curled up on the couch again. The stronger cramps kicked in again and it was really uncomfortable. I was breathing through them and had to get into a child's pose just to get some relief from them. About 6 am I felt a second big gush. This time I didn't even make it to the bathroom. Everything I had on including my robe was soaked. I stripped off everything grabbed a towel to catch the flood and was trying to figure out how the heck I was going to get that bathroom clean before the teenager woke up (it's the one he uses). I heard the alarm going off in our bedroom so I moved from the hall bathroom to ours and as I was climbing in the shower I asked Dave to please go make sure I hadn't missed anything....I'm sure that is how every man wants to be woke up. Uh honey would you go see if I bled all over the living room and hall carpet?
He was great about it though. Didn't grumble once. He cleaned everything up, tossed my clothes and the towels in the washer while I jumped in the shower to clean up.
OK so that wins him big points back that he lost over the whole birthday screw up. He might not be very good at birthdays but he is great at all the really important stuff.
I crawled in bed and slept about 30 minutes and about 7 I woke up just as I had another big gush hit. I kept thinking where the heck is all this coming from because each time it's completely flooding the pad and then some.
Cramping and bleeding seemed to stop about that time. I slept most of the day since I had been awake all night.
That afternoon it felt like there was something else that needed to come out. It felt like when you don't quite have a tampon in the right spot. Hey, I warned you it was TMI. So I checked. Sure enough I felt something stuck so I called the Dr's office. He said to wait and if it hadn't passed to take another dose of the meds in 48 hrs. So tonight on my way home I'll pick up another dose and see if that does the trick. For me it helped doing this at night so I could be home but not have to deal with explaining to the stepson what was happening. Dave was there if I needed him instead of at work so that eased my mind as well.
I have to say that it's not as horrible as I thought it might be to use this med. I really didn't want to do another d&e since I had so many complications with the last time. I think I'm more scared of complications from surgery again than I am of the extra (but manageable) pain and mess. Even though the 1st dose didn't take care of everything and I have to take a second dose I think if I have another missed m/c I would do this again if I had to. Let's see if my opinion changes after tonight.