OH.....HELL NO!!!

I take full responsibility for falling totally off the wagon this past year. I don't think I had realized how down I had been between the nightmare job, the surly teenager, the infertility, no real friends close by to spill my guts to...~sigh~ It has been a foul year. Just thinking about it makes me want to crawl back in bed with the dog and take another long nap. I stepped on the scales this morning hoping to see another drop in numbers. (last month I lost 10 lbs) NOPE. Gained back everything that I lost last month PLUS I gained 4 more pounds. I just don't know how to get control of this. Every time I am making progress I backtrack. So starting today, I am going to use this as my platform for holding myself accountable. If I slip up I have to 'fess up. I have been going to the gym sporadically for the last month or so but when I wake up hurting from head to toe it's hard to make myself go. That has to stop too. I HAVE to go every day during the week to make any real progress. Saturday and Sunday is usually pretty busy so those will be my days to find an alternative activity. Which will probably be window shopping at the mall or working on a home improvement project. Oh man....I don't know if I have the guts to post what my weight has skyrocketed to. DEEP BREATH.......256.5 GAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!!! SHOOT ME NOW!!!! I have gained 50 lbs in 3 years WTF!!!!!!! OK, well....it is what it is. Starting from this minute I will be holding myself accountable for every bite I take and document every workout. South Beach Diet begins in 3....2....1...!!!!!!