I love it when I'm wrong...

Just don't tell my Husband.

The nurse called me yesterday to make sure I had the info for my appointment with the pain specialist on the 1st.* While I had her on the phone I asked if my day 21 test was back yet so put me on hold while she tracked it down. I didn't think it was going to show that I Oed but the test came back at 21.7. Anything over 10 is good so my 43 year old girly parts are over achievers!



*They keep adding people to the very small room we are working in and the noise level is making my headaches go ballistic. I'm hoping I can get trigger point injections. It's getting to the point I can't function at work and their "you are just going to have to get used to it" statement doesn't excactly help.

Another blood test.

I don't think the metformin/clomid worked. I never did get a good solid line on the OPK this month. I go in the morning to have a blood test run to see if I O'ed or not. I can pretty much guarantee it's going to be NOT. ~sigh~

We'll just try again next month at a higher dose.

some new test results

The nurse left me a message with some of the test results from last week. I was really pleased to hear that my FSH was only 7.5! Wow! For being 43 that is pretty darn good!
Thyroid is holding steady as are the estrogen levels. The only thing acting up is the glucose which came in at 113. Not terribly high but they think the Metformin will help bring it down to a more reasonable number.
I'm feeling pretty optomistic about things right now. Still holding my breath but hopeful.

Not much to tell these days...

That last m/c knocked my system for a loop and it hasn't figured out how to reset itself yet. I went to the Dr last Thursday and they gave me a thorough once over. Blood tests, ultrasound, etc. We switched some meds up and added the Metformin I've been reading up on. Both overies show 5 to 7 follicles which is good so they put me on Clomid to see if that will help get the ball rolling.
Dr. W warned me that it has a pretty high risk of twins but we have that already with my family history so I'm pretty ok if we get a twofer. D says he is too....with a terrified look in his eye. LOL I had fun teasing him about it this weekend.
Other than wanting to smack some stupid people at a concert Saturday night, I haven't had too many side effects from the Clomid. Let's hope that doesn't change and also that it does the trick.

Snow!

The Miscarriage


Some species can crack pavement with their shoots
to get their share of sun some species lay
a purple froth of eggs and leave it there
to sprinkle tidepools with tadpole confetti
some species though you stomp them in the carpet
have already stashed away the families
that will inherit every floor at midnight
But others don’t go forth and multiply
as boldly male and female peeling the bamboo
their keepers watching in despair or those
endangered species numbered individually
and mapped from perch to oblivious perch


For weeks the world it seemed was plagued
with babies forests dwindling into cradles
rows of women hissing for an obstetrician
babies no one could feed babies received
by accident like misdirected mail
from God so many babies people hired
women to hold them babies babies everywhere
but not a one to name When we got home
the local news showed us a mother with
quintuplets she was suckling them in shifts
a mountain of sheets universally admired
a goddess of fertility her smile
could persuade the skies to rain Her litter
slept ointment-eyed in pink wool caps while Dad
ran his hand through his hair thinking maybe
of money as he stood surveying his
crowded living room his wealth of heartbeats


Pizza and pop that night and there unasked inside
the bottlecap was Sorry—Try Again
you set it down and did not speak of it
the moon flanked by her brood of stars that night
a chaste distracted kiss goodnight that night
your body quiet having spilled its secret
your palms flat on your belly holding holding


Forgive me if I had no words that night
but I was wondering in the silence still
begetting silence whether to console you
if I consoled you it would make the loss
your loss and so we laid beside ourselves
a while because I had no words until
our bodies folded shut our bodies closed
around hope like a book preserving petals
a book we did not open till the morning when
we found hope dry and brittle but intact

- Amit Majmudar (published in the October 2005 issue of Poetry.)

Feeling a little better....

I had A GREAT adjustment from the chiro last night. He is ART certified (Active Release Techniques. Active Release Techniques, or ART, is a patented, soft tissue system that treats problems with muscles, tendons, ligaments, fascia and nerves) so he spent quite a while working on my "mouse shoulder". Then a hard traction pull to pop C1 back into place and I feel like a new person...almost. It's pretty sore today but it's MUCH better than it's been since Saturday. I may go back for another visit this week just to make sure things stay put.
Second good thing that happened last night was the pharmacy was able to find the right maker for my Rx. I slept better last night than I have in weeks. My brain is still pretty scattered and sticking to one thought for more than 10 seconds is tough, but it's better. AND I haven't had a single chest pain all day. YAY!
Work is kind of quiet today too. We had to evacuate the building for about an hour while they looked for a natural gas leak. It was a tad nippy out there but a bad day of being evacuated is better than a good day of working here. LOL
I've got two great music shows to look forward to this week and I'm going to check out a pottery store I found in Ft Worth Saturday morning. Maybe I can find someone to fire my pottery so I can start throwing again.