Wednesday, July 25, 2012
Getting back on track....
Well...I started back at the gym this week but only managed one day before my foot/ankle started killing me. I had the chiro look at it yesterday and he was able to straighten me out...literally. I had a couple of muscles that were bound up (muscle spasm) and a bone on the top of my foot was out of whack. So I am taking it easy for a day or two since it hurts still and then I'm am back on track. I upgraded my gym membership to include classes as well as the equipment room and I am looking forward to doing some yoga, pilates and hoop (I am assuming hula hoop?)
Work is going great. I am still working with a wedding photographer as his assistant. We did an open house/wedding show over the weekend (probably when I messed up my foot) and booked 3 weddings at the show, 3 more since the show (as of Tuesday) and there are a few more strong leads. YAY! OH AND...I am the main photographer on one of them. Double YAY! I may not be making a ton of money by being an assistant instead of running out there and booking my own jobs but I really feel that there is so much I still need to learn about the business side of things. So for now I am learning, listening, practicing and making connections.
Can't bring myself to step on the scales again but I am trying to make conscience choices about what to eat and when I am eating. I sure wish my husband was a little more supportive. The minute I start trying to eat healthier he brings home, ice cream, little pies that you bake in the microwave and peach cobbler. I have a bite or two but then let him finish it. I would like to feel better about myself and wear some cute clothes, possibly even a swimsuit when we go to Florida in early October.
Monday, June 25, 2012
OH.....HELL NO!!!
I take full responsibility for falling totally off the wagon this past year. I don't think I had realized how down I had been between the nightmare job, the surly teenager, the infertility, no real friends close by to spill my guts to...~sigh~
It has been a foul year. Just thinking about it makes me want to crawl back in bed with the dog and take another long nap.
I stepped on the scales this morning hoping to see another drop in numbers. (last month I lost 10 lbs) NOPE. Gained back everything that I lost last month PLUS I gained 4 more pounds. I just don't know how to get control of this. Every time I am making progress I backtrack.
So starting today, I am going to use this as my platform for holding myself accountable. If I slip up I have to 'fess up.
I have been going to the gym sporadically for the last month or so but when I wake up hurting from head to toe it's hard to make myself go. That has to stop too. I HAVE to go every day during the week to make any real progress. Saturday and Sunday is usually pretty busy so those will be my days to find an alternative activity. Which will probably be window shopping at the mall or working on a home improvement project.
Oh man....I don't know if I have the guts to post what my weight has skyrocketed to.
DEEP BREATH.......256.5 GAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!!! SHOOT ME NOW!!!! I have gained 50 lbs in 3 years WTF!!!!!!!
OK, well....it is what it is. Starting from this minute I will be holding myself accountable for every bite I take and document every workout.
South Beach Diet begins in 3....2....1...!!!!!!
Wednesday, September 28, 2011
I have been so mentally exhausted for the last couple of months while dealing with psyco boss that I couldn't even bring myself to post anything on here. I am NOT at the dungeon of doom any longer. Praise God! I think he truly helped me get away from that environment.
I am slowly starting to get back to being myself although I still can't hold a thought in my head for very long. Of course that could have something to do with the landing almost on my head when I fell off a ladder that same week. Nothing broken but I landed on my shoulders/base of my neck and knocked the wind out of myself. I am still sore but I have the best chiro so I am almost back to normal.
I am working on trying to get a used IMac since I can't afford a new one at the moment. Hopefully the contact I have will have something that can do the job for about a year or so while I get things going with the business. I should have the website up and running before too much longer. Once that is finished I will share it with you!
Funny story for y'all.
I helped with a bridal shoot on Monday down in the FW stockyards. While the bride was being set up infront of this old painted wall....a bird pooped on her VEIL! Everyone gasped! Especially the bride!!! Then we were doubled over laughing until we were crying! Thank goodness for brides with a sense of humor!
Monday, July 11, 2011
Seriously reaching my limit....
There is an end in sight to the nightmare job from hell. A certain point my husband and I both agreed on but now that I know what that is, I can hardly stand the wait! I've worked for some crazy people before but the delusions of some of these people...wow! That is all I can say. Just. WOW! And when the entire group talked to HR about it he basically told us too bad. Not that we really expected him to be helpful. It just confirmed that there is only one way to change it and that is to get the heck out as fast as possible and never look back.
We haven't heard a peep from the stepson while he is at camp. We sent letters from us and from the dog. (She wasn't so crazy about the ink pad I was using on her to make paw prints but I made up for it with letting her play in the sprinkler afterwards so I think I'm forgiven.) We haven't received a letter in return though.
They post pictures on facebook and their website so the parents see how things are going. Looks like they are having fun but the only 2 pics I've seen of our little camper he looks pissed off. Or is that his badass Marine face? I can't tell. They are basically the same look.
We haven't heard a peep from the stepson while he is at camp. We sent letters from us and from the dog. (She wasn't so crazy about the ink pad I was using on her to make paw prints but I made up for it with letting her play in the sprinkler afterwards so I think I'm forgiven.) We haven't received a letter in return though.
They post pictures on facebook and their website so the parents see how things are going. Looks like they are having fun but the only 2 pics I've seen of our little camper he looks pissed off. Or is that his badass Marine face? I can't tell. They are basically the same look.
Tuesday, June 28, 2011
Funny story....
We shot a wedding a couple of weeks ago and just after the formal pics are done they go right into the newlywed's first dance. After that the couple always goes and takes a breather while people go through the buffet.
So the bride takes the opportunity to go to the bathroom. BUT instead of having someone help her with the dress she took it off. When they went to zip her back in they broke the zipper.
Wait....they didn't just break they mauled the zipper! A normal broken zipper you can get to work again if you know what you are doing. With this zipper, there were teeth missing. No fixing that! So there were about 5 of us trying to sew the poor girl back in her dress. It was the funniest thing I have ever seen!
Thank goodness she had a great sense of humor about it all!
So the bride takes the opportunity to go to the bathroom. BUT instead of having someone help her with the dress she took it off. When they went to zip her back in they broke the zipper.
Wait....they didn't just break they mauled the zipper! A normal broken zipper you can get to work again if you know what you are doing. With this zipper, there were teeth missing. No fixing that! So there were about 5 of us trying to sew the poor girl back in her dress. It was the funniest thing I have ever seen!
Thank goodness she had a great sense of humor about it all!
Saturday, June 25, 2011
Pincushion....and decisions....
about a month ago I started getting weekly acupunture treatments.
I keep hearing from women in the support group that it helped them so I figured it would be worth a try. We can't afford to go the donor egg route so at least I feel like I am trying SOMETHING. I know in some ways it's helping but I've gone from 26 day cycles to 23 and now 21. WTF?!?
Work is stressful so I am sure that isn't helping but I haven't had stress affect my like that since I was a teenager.
Biggest decision of the week? I am quitting my job in a couple of weeks....
I keep hearing from women in the support group that it helped them so I figured it would be worth a try. We can't afford to go the donor egg route so at least I feel like I am trying SOMETHING. I know in some ways it's helping but I've gone from 26 day cycles to 23 and now 21. WTF?!?
Work is stressful so I am sure that isn't helping but I haven't had stress affect my like that since I was a teenager.
Biggest decision of the week? I am quitting my job in a couple of weeks....
Thursday, June 16, 2011
Camp....
The Stepson wants to go to a military camp this summer.
The same one that sits in his room all day playing games, thinks walking in a circle around the kitchen-living room-hall is the same as working out. Has to be reminded to bath...and brush his teeth....and change his clothes.
He told Dave that he wanted to go but only if THEY WEREN'T TOO SOFT ON HIM!
I REALLY REALLY HOPE HE GETS IN! LOL! Oh and did I mention it's down on the border near Mexico? It is going to be HOT! I have a feeling he'll flake out and change his mind at the last minute but boy would it be a good learning experience for him!
The same one that sits in his room all day playing games, thinks walking in a circle around the kitchen-living room-hall is the same as working out. Has to be reminded to bath...and brush his teeth....and change his clothes.
He told Dave that he wanted to go but only if THEY WEREN'T TOO SOFT ON HIM!
I REALLY REALLY HOPE HE GETS IN! LOL! Oh and did I mention it's down on the border near Mexico? It is going to be HOT! I have a feeling he'll flake out and change his mind at the last minute but boy would it be a good learning experience for him!
Tuesday, May 10, 2011
UN-believable....
HR chick summoned me to her office yesterday afternoon.
Apparently Belcher ran straight to her office after I spoke with her the second time. She did her best to make me out to be the bad guy. Of Course. That is what she has done for the last 3 years. Every chance she gets.
Shocking part is that HR APOLOGIZED TO ME on behalf of the company. And told me all about her conversation with Belcher and how she set her straight on WHY what she did was WRONG.
I am still the most hated person in the building but at least I can breath. And get some work done.
Apparently Belcher ran straight to her office after I spoke with her the second time. She did her best to make me out to be the bad guy. Of Course. That is what she has done for the last 3 years. Every chance she gets.
Shocking part is that HR APOLOGIZED TO ME on behalf of the company. And told me all about her conversation with Belcher and how she set her straight on WHY what she did was WRONG.
I am still the most hated person in the building but at least I can breath. And get some work done.
Friday, May 6, 2011
Craptabulous....
I had a total panic attack meltdown yesterday. It was LOADS of fun.
You know that sensation where you feel like you have to get out of a room NOW? I have been fighting that for a few weeks.
For the last couple of weeks the preggo/baby talk was getting a little overwhelming but then this week they were supposed to find out the sex.
Cue the pink and blue papers being passed to every single department in the building for everyone to guess what it was going to be. Then on top of that Belcher making 3-6 stops at almost every desk in my department (literally) DAILY so she could share every little ache, pain and twinge. The whole time I tried to either plastered a smile on my face and acted like I gave a shit, head down busting out my phone calls so I don’t have to hear the chatter or, if I was able, left the room.
So yesterday she was going to wear the “winning” color. Great….she wore blue….blah blah blah. Bully for her. I was able to block it out most of the morning.
About mid morning she made her first of many stops in our department…with u/s pictures. Ok, I’m thinking she’ll just be here for a little while…I think I can deal with this. Nope….after 5 solid minutes I had to leave the room. I tried to tune it out, I tried making more phone calls so I couldn’t hear them…they just talked louder….I had to get out of there. I couldn’t breath. I HAD to get out of there. So I went and hung out in the Ladies lounge. Chilled on the couch for a little while, practiced my breathing. Calmed myself down. Somewhat.
By the time I went to lunch I was barely hanging on because by this point the entire department had baby fever. I went in the ladies lounge at lunch and kicked back on the couch for a little while to clear my head, put a box full of band aids on my bruised and battered heart and tried to put it out of my mind. Guess who walks in.
Yup. Belcher
By this time I had decided enough was enough. So as she was blathering on about it being a boy I told her. Look, I am very happy for you. But I don’t want you to be offended if I don’t want to hear about it all. I’ve been through 5 miscarriages in the last couple of years and it’s just very difficult for me to be around right now. She said Oh….I totally understand. Wow 5.
At this point I’m thinking…whew…that went well. But I bet it’s going to come back to bite me in the ass.
So I went back to my desk, thinking maybe I can make it through the rest of the day without anymore tears. Man was I wrong.
Less than an HOUR later. Guess who showed up. Not only did she come “in the department” but she was at the cubicle next to mine. WTF!!! Ok so now I KNOW that this stupid bitch is doing it on purpose. I tried all the usual distracting stuff…nothing worked. Turned the music up LOUD….they just talked louder and more people joined in on the conversation. PEOPLE THAT I HAVE TOLD “look, this is what I’ve been through. I am not up to hearing this stuff”. Are people that fucking clueless? Whatever. So, I left the room….for a long time…hung out in my safe place (ladies lounge) and tried to regroup.
When I left the lounge, Belcher was walking by. So I stopped her and said “look. I thought you understood. You need to warn me or give me a heads up that you are going to be coming back there so that If I need to leave I have that option.” She feigned a confused look. And said Oh, OK. I just wanted to punch her lights out. But I didn’t.
By the time I got back to my desk (again the entire room, including the men were high on baby fever) I couldn’t breath, I was shaking and I couldn’t fight the urge to run any longer. I grabbed my stuff, hit the button to turn off the computer and told crazy crack ho boss I was leaving. Apparently I freaked her out because she wouldn’t let me leave and found me a quiet room to sit and calm down in. We chatted for a while she started crying and said she felt really bad that she hadn’t stepped in and told Keri to go back to her own department. I told her it’s been like being stuck in a never ending baby shower from hell complete with games from the minute I walk in the door until I leave every day.
Wow…I made the crack ho cry. She has feelings after all. Crazy…
After I calmed down was able to breath instead of hyperventilating and stopped shaking as bad she let me take off.
I don’t’ know what was said after I left but it is deathly quiet in here today. So now I’ll be the most hated person in the building. Perfect craptabulous way to end a crappy week.
You know that sensation where you feel like you have to get out of a room NOW? I have been fighting that for a few weeks.
For the last couple of weeks the preggo/baby talk was getting a little overwhelming but then this week they were supposed to find out the sex.
Cue the pink and blue papers being passed to every single department in the building for everyone to guess what it was going to be. Then on top of that Belcher making 3-6 stops at almost every desk in my department (literally) DAILY so she could share every little ache, pain and twinge. The whole time I tried to either plastered a smile on my face and acted like I gave a shit, head down busting out my phone calls so I don’t have to hear the chatter or, if I was able, left the room.
So yesterday she was going to wear the “winning” color. Great….she wore blue….blah blah blah. Bully for her. I was able to block it out most of the morning.
About mid morning she made her first of many stops in our department…with u/s pictures. Ok, I’m thinking she’ll just be here for a little while…I think I can deal with this. Nope….after 5 solid minutes I had to leave the room. I tried to tune it out, I tried making more phone calls so I couldn’t hear them…they just talked louder….I had to get out of there. I couldn’t breath. I HAD to get out of there. So I went and hung out in the Ladies lounge. Chilled on the couch for a little while, practiced my breathing. Calmed myself down. Somewhat.
By the time I went to lunch I was barely hanging on because by this point the entire department had baby fever. I went in the ladies lounge at lunch and kicked back on the couch for a little while to clear my head, put a box full of band aids on my bruised and battered heart and tried to put it out of my mind. Guess who walks in.
Yup. Belcher
By this time I had decided enough was enough. So as she was blathering on about it being a boy I told her. Look, I am very happy for you. But I don’t want you to be offended if I don’t want to hear about it all. I’ve been through 5 miscarriages in the last couple of years and it’s just very difficult for me to be around right now. She said Oh….I totally understand. Wow 5.
At this point I’m thinking…whew…that went well. But I bet it’s going to come back to bite me in the ass.
So I went back to my desk, thinking maybe I can make it through the rest of the day without anymore tears. Man was I wrong.
Less than an HOUR later. Guess who showed up. Not only did she come “in the department” but she was at the cubicle next to mine. WTF!!! Ok so now I KNOW that this stupid bitch is doing it on purpose. I tried all the usual distracting stuff…nothing worked. Turned the music up LOUD….they just talked louder and more people joined in on the conversation. PEOPLE THAT I HAVE TOLD “look, this is what I’ve been through. I am not up to hearing this stuff”. Are people that fucking clueless? Whatever. So, I left the room….for a long time…hung out in my safe place (ladies lounge) and tried to regroup.
When I left the lounge, Belcher was walking by. So I stopped her and said “look. I thought you understood. You need to warn me or give me a heads up that you are going to be coming back there so that If I need to leave I have that option.” She feigned a confused look. And said Oh, OK. I just wanted to punch her lights out. But I didn’t.
By the time I got back to my desk (again the entire room, including the men were high on baby fever) I couldn’t breath, I was shaking and I couldn’t fight the urge to run any longer. I grabbed my stuff, hit the button to turn off the computer and told crazy crack ho boss I was leaving. Apparently I freaked her out because she wouldn’t let me leave and found me a quiet room to sit and calm down in. We chatted for a while she started crying and said she felt really bad that she hadn’t stepped in and told Keri to go back to her own department. I told her it’s been like being stuck in a never ending baby shower from hell complete with games from the minute I walk in the door until I leave every day.
Wow…I made the crack ho cry. She has feelings after all. Crazy…
After I calmed down was able to breath instead of hyperventilating and stopped shaking as bad she let me take off.
I don’t’ know what was said after I left but it is deathly quiet in here today. So now I’ll be the most hated person in the building. Perfect craptabulous way to end a crappy week.
Friday, March 25, 2011
I did it!
I am offically a small business owner.
I was home yesterday with a jacked up neck. I went to the chiro at 7 and he worked on me and put me on a traction table. I could barely move even after he worked on me so he told me (half jokingly) to go home, take 2 or 3 painkillers, muscle relaxers or whatever I might have and crawl in bed with an ice pack until later that afternoon when he wanted me to come back so he could work on me some more.
I made it to about 1 before I started going stir crazy so I got online and figured out (in a painkiller induced haze) how to get my photography business registered and the tax id stuff done.
Tonight I will register the domain name and I have a friend that has offered to creat a website for me once I get that done.
Baby steps.....and a sweet picture of my niece I took last weekend.
I was home yesterday with a jacked up neck. I went to the chiro at 7 and he worked on me and put me on a traction table. I could barely move even after he worked on me so he told me (half jokingly) to go home, take 2 or 3 painkillers, muscle relaxers or whatever I might have and crawl in bed with an ice pack until later that afternoon when he wanted me to come back so he could work on me some more.
I made it to about 1 before I started going stir crazy so I got online and figured out (in a painkiller induced haze) how to get my photography business registered and the tax id stuff done.
Tonight I will register the domain name and I have a friend that has offered to creat a website for me once I get that done.
Baby steps.....and a sweet picture of my niece I took last weekend.
Wednesday, March 16, 2011
FOUND!
We got her back last night…whew!
She managed to get out of the fence (My Husband has it blockaded now until he
gets it replaced. It looked fine but somehow she figured out how to squeeze
through a loose board) and a lady that was taking down a pool across the street
at the tweakers house found her and took her home.
That lady called me yesterday morning but when I tried to meet with her right away she said she couldn't but would bring the puppy home that evening.
THEN I got a phone call from another lady who was rambling and saying she had my dog and that she had to break into this other ladies house to rescue her and that it wasn't about the reward BUT she had to spend $75 to get a new key for her truck plus gas to get the dog back to us. It was FREAKY!
I was really stressing over this crazy lady's call. She was in our neighborhood
so I called our Son and told him what was going on and to call our neighbor to
go out with him to get the dog since I didn't know what we were dealing with. Crazy lady sounded higher than a kite....
Our 16 year old 6 ft+ son was smart and didn't go out just in sweats he was in
full combat gear. LOL That was the one time I TOTALLY DIDN'T MIND his crazy
military look. He walked over to the crazy lady's side but the dog was on the
other side so he went over there. Got the dog FIRST and then confirmed it was our dog and gave them $20.
The signs said Reward, they just didn't say how much and frankly I don't have a
lot to give away this week. The whole thing sounded shady so I wasn't really interested in supporting someone drug habit.
A few minutes later I got the call letting me know he had the dog back home
again. Huge sigh of relief!
THEN I had another call which I let go to VM since I was on another call at
work. Crazy lady called back sobbing and boo hooing telling me how I ripped her
off, but it wasn't about the reward money, but I ripped her off and only gave
her $20 when it cost her over $125 to rescue my dog and take care of her and get
her back to us. At this point I am freaking out. I call our Son and tell him
to stay in the house with the doors locked because I don't know what they would
do if they were really that upset we only gave them $20.
Then crazy lady calls back and leaves another message telling me how she had to go and break into the first lady's garage and rescue the puppy because the other lady was only going to use her for the reward money and blah blah blah…. I called My Husband, then called my son, I almost called the police at this point. It was crazy. I was at work and couldn't do anything.
So fast forward to last night…
Our son and I took the puppy to the vet for her shots she was supposed to get on
Monday; I also had them put a chip in her just in case she ever goes missing
again. (Our Son thought it was like lojack and he could see where Nell was at
all times, which isn't a bad idea)
While we are at the vet clinic Dave goes over to the tweakers house to see if he can figure out what was really going on. I had played the messages for him when he got home and he just wanted to find out what the heck was going on. Fortunately it was just crazy crack head lady making it into a big ol' ordeal because she and the rest
of the crack heads have been evicted and have to be out of the house by Friday
and she thought she would get a little moving money out of us. The first lady
was fairly normal, just an old biker chick that was trying to do a good deed.
Crack head was still trying to get more money out of Dave so he offered her a
couple of steaks instead and she was happy about that.
Hopefully that will be the last we hear from those crazy a$$ people! And I
think our son has a much better understanding of what he needs to be doing to
watch the puppy.
She managed to get out of the fence (My Husband has it blockaded now until he
gets it replaced. It looked fine but somehow she figured out how to squeeze
through a loose board) and a lady that was taking down a pool across the street
at the tweakers house found her and took her home.
That lady called me yesterday morning but when I tried to meet with her right away she said she couldn't but would bring the puppy home that evening.
THEN I got a phone call from another lady who was rambling and saying she had my dog and that she had to break into this other ladies house to rescue her and that it wasn't about the reward BUT she had to spend $75 to get a new key for her truck plus gas to get the dog back to us. It was FREAKY!
I was really stressing over this crazy lady's call. She was in our neighborhood
so I called our Son and told him what was going on and to call our neighbor to
go out with him to get the dog since I didn't know what we were dealing with. Crazy lady sounded higher than a kite....
Our 16 year old 6 ft+ son was smart and didn't go out just in sweats he was in
full combat gear. LOL That was the one time I TOTALLY DIDN'T MIND his crazy
military look. He walked over to the crazy lady's side but the dog was on the
other side so he went over there. Got the dog FIRST and then confirmed it was our dog and gave them $20.
The signs said Reward, they just didn't say how much and frankly I don't have a
lot to give away this week. The whole thing sounded shady so I wasn't really interested in supporting someone drug habit.
A few minutes later I got the call letting me know he had the dog back home
again. Huge sigh of relief!
THEN I had another call which I let go to VM since I was on another call at
work. Crazy lady called back sobbing and boo hooing telling me how I ripped her
off, but it wasn't about the reward money, but I ripped her off and only gave
her $20 when it cost her over $125 to rescue my dog and take care of her and get
her back to us. At this point I am freaking out. I call our Son and tell him
to stay in the house with the doors locked because I don't know what they would
do if they were really that upset we only gave them $20.
Then crazy lady calls back and leaves another message telling me how she had to go and break into the first lady's garage and rescue the puppy because the other lady was only going to use her for the reward money and blah blah blah…. I called My Husband, then called my son, I almost called the police at this point. It was crazy. I was at work and couldn't do anything.
So fast forward to last night…
Our son and I took the puppy to the vet for her shots she was supposed to get on
Monday; I also had them put a chip in her just in case she ever goes missing
again. (Our Son thought it was like lojack and he could see where Nell was at
all times, which isn't a bad idea)
While we are at the vet clinic Dave goes over to the tweakers house to see if he can figure out what was really going on. I had played the messages for him when he got home and he just wanted to find out what the heck was going on. Fortunately it was just crazy crack head lady making it into a big ol' ordeal because she and the rest
of the crack heads have been evicted and have to be out of the house by Friday
and she thought she would get a little moving money out of us. The first lady
was fairly normal, just an old biker chick that was trying to do a good deed.
Crack head was still trying to get more money out of Dave so he offered her a
couple of steaks instead and she was happy about that.
Hopefully that will be the last we hear from those crazy a$$ people! And I
think our son has a much better understanding of what he needs to be doing to
watch the puppy.
Monday, March 14, 2011
Lost..
Nell the puppy is lost. My heart is broken.
The stepson was watching her. She was outside sleeping at 9 am then when he went to check on her around 10:30 she was gone.
We've put signs up, looked everywhere at least 3 times. Nothing
Dave is broken up, the ss is angry and I don't know how many more losses I have in me.
Wanna know what the real kicker is? She was 9 weeks. Can't even keep a dog past 9 weeks.
The stepson was watching her. She was outside sleeping at 9 am then when he went to check on her around 10:30 she was gone.
We've put signs up, looked everywhere at least 3 times. Nothing
Dave is broken up, the ss is angry and I don't know how many more losses I have in me.
Wanna know what the real kicker is? She was 9 weeks. Can't even keep a dog past 9 weeks.
Thursday, March 10, 2011
Having trouble deciding....
I have 2 names for my photography business that I am torn between. So I am asking for a vote to help me decide. I checked and both names are available so if anyone steals my idea I'll come and kick your hiney! LOL
Name #1
Cu.rly Wil.low Pho.togr.aphy
Name #2
Ba.rbed Wi.re and Bego.ni.as Phot.ograhy
Cast your vote......NOW!!! Cause I'm registering the name next week.
Name #1
Cu.rly Wil.low Pho.togr.aphy
Name #2
Ba.rbed Wi.re and Bego.ni.as Phot.ograhy
Cast your vote......NOW!!! Cause I'm registering the name next week.
Wednesday, March 2, 2011
You are kidding? Right?
There is a really obnoxious person that I work with that made my life hell when I was in that department (a whole 20 feet away from where I am now) I couldn't talk to a customer on the phone without them having to hear her singing off key, burping, belching and yes... farting.
Guess who is pregnant? BARELY PREGNANT?
Also.....
Guess who sent out an email to everyone in the company yesterday asking for address so they could send BABY SHOWER INVITATIONS out in AUGUST. WTF?!?!? Afraid you aren't going to get enough PRESENTS you greedy little pig?
I am behaving very well. I didn't say anything about the tacky factor of it all. I just deleted the email....but not before sending it to my best friend so we could roll our eyes in unison.
I was going to wait and just quit when I got my photography business up and running but I am thinking for sanity's sake I need to find another job even if it's just part time so I can regroup and get back to the person I know deep down I still am. Being in this toxic (literally and figuratively) building just kills my spirit a little more everyday. I barely recognize myself anymore.
But again....I am keeping all that to myself and playing nicely with others until I can escape.
Guess who is pregnant? BARELY PREGNANT?
Also.....
Guess who sent out an email to everyone in the company yesterday asking for address so they could send BABY SHOWER INVITATIONS out in AUGUST. WTF?!?!? Afraid you aren't going to get enough PRESENTS you greedy little pig?
I am behaving very well. I didn't say anything about the tacky factor of it all. I just deleted the email....but not before sending it to my best friend so we could roll our eyes in unison.
I was going to wait and just quit when I got my photography business up and running but I am thinking for sanity's sake I need to find another job even if it's just part time so I can regroup and get back to the person I know deep down I still am. Being in this toxic (literally and figuratively) building just kills my spirit a little more everyday. I barely recognize myself anymore.
But again....I am keeping all that to myself and playing nicely with others until I can escape.
Monday, February 21, 2011
Reading....
Ok, so you can laugh at me now.
I got a reading from an online psychic recently.
Hmmm......does that make me a loony tune?
Carla, huggggggggggggggsss it feels like you guys keep hitting your heads against the wall over and over and over again, it is like you are trying to fight your own destiny and lose every single time and then go back to the same destructive behavior which is creating a nightmare for you in your relationship and marriage..........childbirth and children are supposed to be a blessing not a curse, a joyous time...not stressful and upsetting....sensing you should go with the flow...events and situations are guideposts for you...signs to read and follow to get back on the path you are supposed to be walking....maybe foster parenting is what is called for now....to take in abused children with no home or love and shower them with all your pent up love and giving.....to release the love and affection you want so badly to give.....and maybe in the process of that...a miracle will happen...God will bless you for your efforts and provide you with children...maybe not naturally...but does it really matter?? parenting is more than a biological even...some of the worst parents in the world are biological parents and nothing else...it takes more than that...try the donor eggs....you must....ask God for a miracle and a blessing...pray over it...then i want you to relax and let go...put all your stress and worry in God's Hands...what will be will be...give it a shot..with that attitude...if it is meant to be..it will happen..if not..you tried and again....feeling so very strongly that adoption of a very abused young girl is your path...there is a soul out there that needs you so very badly...and the fit will be magical and what you guys were destined to do ..all along.......stop the negative thinking and start praying....only positive thoughts..from this point on...nothing negative..with the understanding that things are in God;s Hands....Children are little miracles and gifts from God that are to be cherished..irregardless if they are own biologically or not....this is what i am sensing for you........Reiki Blessings of fertility and peace and love and wisdom and courage and faith on the way to you both, may God Bless you and give you the wisdom to follow His Lead and to have the faith of a child.........amen and amen...huggggggggggggggggggggggggss
I got a reading from an online psychic recently.
Hmmm......does that make me a loony tune?
Carla, huggggggggggggggsss it feels like you guys keep hitting your heads against the wall over and over and over again, it is like you are trying to fight your own destiny and lose every single time and then go back to the same destructive behavior which is creating a nightmare for you in your relationship and marriage..........childbirth and children are supposed to be a blessing not a curse, a joyous time...not stressful and upsetting....sensing you should go with the flow...events and situations are guideposts for you...signs to read and follow to get back on the path you are supposed to be walking....maybe foster parenting is what is called for now....to take in abused children with no home or love and shower them with all your pent up love and giving.....to release the love and affection you want so badly to give.....and maybe in the process of that...a miracle will happen...God will bless you for your efforts and provide you with children...maybe not naturally...but does it really matter?? parenting is more than a biological even...some of the worst parents in the world are biological parents and nothing else...it takes more than that...try the donor eggs....you must....ask God for a miracle and a blessing...pray over it...then i want you to relax and let go...put all your stress and worry in God's Hands...what will be will be...give it a shot..with that attitude...if it is meant to be..it will happen..if not..you tried and again....feeling so very strongly that adoption of a very abused young girl is your path...there is a soul out there that needs you so very badly...and the fit will be magical and what you guys were destined to do ..all along.......stop the negative thinking and start praying....only positive thoughts..from this point on...nothing negative..with the understanding that things are in God;s Hands....Children are little miracles and gifts from God that are to be cherished..irregardless if they are own biologically or not....this is what i am sensing for you........Reiki Blessings of fertility and peace and love and wisdom and courage and faith on the way to you both, may God Bless you and give you the wisdom to follow His Lead and to have the faith of a child.........amen and amen...huggggggggggggggggggggggggss
I can't bring myself to go back there....
Last week I went in for another blood. It had dropped to 8. Not pregnant is anything below 5. The nurse told me to schedule another blood test but I just can't do it. Enough! 3 measly points is not going to matter. I usually don't have a problem with the extra tests and such that I have to do. NORMALLY. But this just feels excessive.
But seriously? I can't see the value in yet another $40 test to tell me that my HCG has dropped from 8 to below 5. It's not like I am an IVF patient. And the desperation that made me think we would go straight into a DE cycle has calmed down as the hormones have dropped. Right this minute I do not want to think about getting pregnant.
I have started taking my vitamins and regular doses of meds again. I always stop taking everything right after a m/c and it takes about a month before I feel up for starting that routine back up. I'm not taking the "trying to get pregnant" doses. Just the regular "gotta maintain this shit" dose.
I think I'll put that $40 towards a mani/pedi.
But seriously? I can't see the value in yet another $40 test to tell me that my HCG has dropped from 8 to below 5. It's not like I am an IVF patient. And the desperation that made me think we would go straight into a DE cycle has calmed down as the hormones have dropped. Right this minute I do not want to think about getting pregnant.
I have started taking my vitamins and regular doses of meds again. I always stop taking everything right after a m/c and it takes about a month before I feel up for starting that routine back up. I'm not taking the "trying to get pregnant" doses. Just the regular "gotta maintain this shit" dose.
I think I'll put that $40 towards a mani/pedi.
Monday, February 14, 2011
Stepping back and refocusing...
I'm tired of being cranky. I'm tired of this funk that won't go away. Mostly, I'm tired of being in pain. So I went and had more injections, 8 in total, in my jaw joint and muscles that lead up from the jaw area. Ahhh...sweet...RELIEF!!!
Amazing how just fixing that will help with the mood swings.
I even tolerated sitting in the waiting room for FOUR HOURS because I really needed the pain relief. Needless to say I won't be going back to that Doctor after having to wait that long, but I think I found another Dr that has an office near where I work and near home too.
I have been focusing on getting my photography business started. I am still trying to narrow down the name I want to use though. I have about 4 that I like. I was thinking of posting them here so I could get some feedback....or suggestions. Oh and I just had to share my favorite picture of the weekend. ~sigh~ I just love it. Of course, it helps to have a great model....oh and R.ad.ney is pretty photogenic too. He's such a sweetheart.
Speaking of things I love.....
I found something to help me cope with all the losses and crap that have been sucking me down into a deep dark black hole of dispair.
You sure you want to see this?
Awwww.....
Introducing Nell my new "therapy" dog. Such a sweet and prissy little thing. LOL Of course, I wasn't thinking she was so sweet at 4:15 this morning when she woke me up and wouldn't stop crying. That's ok I loved every sleepless minute of it.
Thursday, January 27, 2011
You have got to be freakin kidding...
The 16 year old stepson started a new gym class this semester. He was all excited because they will be doing a bunch of different stuff. He's not exactly an athletic kid even though he's over 6 foot and would be a great at basket ball.
So day before yesterday they did weightlifting. YESTERDAY morning he refused to get out of bed to go to school because he was SORE. WTF. Are you freaking kidding me? And of course his Dad caves and lets him stay home.
I was so pissed I could have spit nails and every time I thought about it it just made me more mad. I was still pissed when I got home last night. I was a bit of a smart ass when the SS finally came out of his room to go run an errand with his dad. I asked if he needed help walking cause you know that is really difficult to do. Dumbass.
Good thing I had a photography class to go to so I didn't have to deal with either one of them because there would have been a huge fight.
So day before yesterday they did weightlifting. YESTERDAY morning he refused to get out of bed to go to school because he was SORE. WTF. Are you freaking kidding me? And of course his Dad caves and lets him stay home.
I was so pissed I could have spit nails and every time I thought about it it just made me more mad. I was still pissed when I got home last night. I was a bit of a smart ass when the SS finally came out of his room to go run an errand with his dad. I asked if he needed help walking cause you know that is really difficult to do. Dumbass.
Good thing I had a photography class to go to so I didn't have to deal with either one of them because there would have been a huge fight.
Tuesday, January 25, 2011
109 and falling...
Ugh. I just KNEW that last weekend was the last round of "crud".
Nope.
The u/s on Monday showed that there are a few stragglers that just don't want to give up yet. (It looked like a jigsaw puzzle in there.) They had switched it over to show blood flow which was pretty cool to see but really annoying to see that it's not done yet.
Blood test came back at 109 so we are heading in the right direction.
I want to try another round (or two) on our own before going with DE (if we ever do) but I want to try using steroids along with the rest of the meds. Doc calls it hocus pocus but even though research says it really doesn't help if I WANT to try it he is good with it. He said he used a lot of h/p when he and his wife were trying to get pregnant and now they have a 4 and 6 year old.
Dr. K also gave me a Rx for a high powered antibiotic since it's taking a while to get rid of everything. I don't have an infection but it's just to keep me from getting one. I almost had a heart attack when I got it filled. I really thought they were kidding when they said how much it was. I guess I've been spoiled with cheap(ish) generic drugs until now. LOL! The girl at Target gave me a $10 gift card since it was a new Rx instead of giving me the coupon to use the next time I had a new Rx.
I go back Monday for another look.
Oh and I almost forgot. Dr. K said I looked and sounded like I was getting my "spark" back. Awww...thanks. I needed that.
Dave has been busy practicing with a new band and helping a friend record a new album so I think that has helped keep him distracted. So far the getting blotto was just a few isolated instances. Thank goodness! I get a little freaked out if I think he's drinking too much even though to others it probably isn't.
We were sitting in the living room after he got home from practice on Sunday and he was talking about how blessed he feels, despite all the crap that we've dealt with, and how nice it was to feel appreciated by me and all these other folks. I am glad he feels that way.
Nope.
The u/s on Monday showed that there are a few stragglers that just don't want to give up yet. (It looked like a jigsaw puzzle in there.) They had switched it over to show blood flow which was pretty cool to see but really annoying to see that it's not done yet.
Blood test came back at 109 so we are heading in the right direction.
I want to try another round (or two) on our own before going with DE (if we ever do) but I want to try using steroids along with the rest of the meds. Doc calls it hocus pocus but even though research says it really doesn't help if I WANT to try it he is good with it. He said he used a lot of h/p when he and his wife were trying to get pregnant and now they have a 4 and 6 year old.
Dr. K also gave me a Rx for a high powered antibiotic since it's taking a while to get rid of everything. I don't have an infection but it's just to keep me from getting one. I almost had a heart attack when I got it filled. I really thought they were kidding when they said how much it was. I guess I've been spoiled with cheap(ish) generic drugs until now. LOL! The girl at Target gave me a $10 gift card since it was a new Rx instead of giving me the coupon to use the next time I had a new Rx.
I go back Monday for another look.
Oh and I almost forgot. Dr. K said I looked and sounded like I was getting my "spark" back. Awww...thanks. I needed that.
Dave has been busy practicing with a new band and helping a friend record a new album so I think that has helped keep him distracted. So far the getting blotto was just a few isolated instances. Thank goodness! I get a little freaked out if I think he's drinking too much even though to others it probably isn't.
We were sitting in the living room after he got home from practice on Sunday and he was talking about how blessed he feels, despite all the crap that we've dealt with, and how nice it was to feel appreciated by me and all these other folks. I am glad he feels that way.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)